In cafe, night clubs or on dating sites you often see people who seem to you interesting in respect of the possible relations. But it is not as simple to come into the first contact as it seems. Here it is important to show not only sensitivity, but also insight. Sometimes it is better to understand at once that the person does not approach, than to try to steep in the unpromising novel.
Consider the list of taboo questions
There is a number of questions which you should not mention at the beginning of communication. Diseases, failures in private life, a recent break with darling – not the best subjects for the first appointments. Too it is worth leaving questions of too personal plan for later. Discussion of finance and financial position can be also inappropriate at the beginning of the novel.
Make the list of criteria for selection of the partner in life, important for you
Kind of people hid it, but questions of the social status of the partner concern them quite strongly. Therefore in a soft and delicate form it is better to find out at once to what religion the person adheres whether it has an education, what its career plans.
About psychological properties you should not ask "directly". But it is worth making at least general idea about the person. The American psychologist George Kelly by carrying out long researches proved that the amount of important criteria for selection of friends, business partners and beloved is very not high. It is described by the principle "seven plus or minus two". Make the list of important qualities of future partner and group it in five-seven combinations. Begin to be interested in behavior and the vital principles which illustrate these qualities. And leave more detailed research of character of the interlocutor for later.
You remember the vital lessons
There is such concept "family scenarios". People are inclined to repeat them from a meeting to a meeting. Some women after the divorce with the alcoholic swear to themselves that in life will not begin to communicate with the drinking person. And suddenly their new boyfriend appears such. The men attracting mercantile and cold women can renounce communication with them as much as necessary. And go to those places where them most of all. Without giving the pain and experiences concerning the repeating scenarios, try from far away, not directly to probe a situation regarding presence at your vis-a-vis of qualities which you definitely do not wish to accept in the partner. Questions of ways of carrying out leisure and holidays will be suitable for identification of alcoholic addictions. Discussions about popular places of shopping are also quite relevant to the first meetings, they do not cause suspicions in women, but show their attitude to money and expenditure. The main thing in communication in attempt to get acquainted is a tactful and correct clarification of as far as you suit the person. But you remember: all these rules will not be necessary at all if both of you are visited by love at first sight. In the presence of great mutual sympathy all norms and rules of secular communication pass into the background.