Family life is full of events which can bring as happiness, the understanding and many years spent together and constant problems, scandals and mistrust. The reasons of negative emotions not necessarily are that both halves of once strong family bad people. They just can not suit one another that is opened only after years. In that case there are options of development of the situation which can destroy family. Most often treason of one of spouses leads to it. In this article the situation when it was made by the husband is considered.
What reasons of treason of the husband
Treason can happen both is spontaneous, and is conscious though both cases can occur at identical event or logical chains.
Different psychologists allocate the reasons of marital infidelity:
- events from the past;
- events from the present;
- embodiment of dreams.
The past is very powerful message for thought process when all failures or, on the contrary, victories are reconsidered under time prism.
The past can bring such reasons of treason:
- the psychological injuries connected with an otverganiye an opposite sex can serve as a certain platform for unconscious revenge absolutely to other person who did not reject at all;
- treason at parents (the father changed mother) or their leaving family can be an incentive for atypical behavior and interest in other women too;
- too strict Puritan education is capable to lead to search of freedom source, even in the presence of normal family;
- realities of modern life which considerably differs from life of parents or methods of education of teachers from the childhood and youth can push to an adultery.
Whether you know? According to polls, about 30% of visitors of social networks come there not for communication with the schoolmates or friends at all — they look for other relations with representatives of an opposite sex. 10% of people from this quantity find in social networks of new partners for accidental sex on a constant basis.
Modern conditions and some permissiveness are an excellent incentive for campaigns on the party and destruction of families. Public persons (people of art, public and political figures) a set of times marry and get divorced, get to paparazzi lens during illegitimate communications. All this weakens public morals and does an illogical act (in this case, treason) quite justified.
Besides influence of society, there are reasons and in family. The behavior of spouses is not always ideal, sometimes the small spark turns into a quarrel, mutual reproaches and thoughts that with this person there is no wish to continue the relations. Here plays a large role both heredity, and the behavioural model for years created. Even the ideal person can explode if to get him. Good relations latently or consciously are on the party — the new acquaintance is appeasable, undemanding, gentle. Even if all not so, then against the background of constant scandals of the house, other woman can be goddess in everything for some time.
Important! The monotony or lack of family sex life also leaves a serious mark and unsatisfied desire can prevail in the form of rapprochement with other partner.
It, of course, concerns not only men, but their passion for satisfaction of a libido is shown much more brightly and quicker. Perhaps, the husband likes another, and she will manage to realize his intimate dreams which the wife cannot or does not want to execute.
Signs of men's treason
It is possible to determine the man who changed by his behavior — it stops being natural, acts, atypical for this person, are made, the husband becomes another. However, improvement of behavior of the soulmate not always happens because of extramarital affairs therefore all possible signs not necessarily speak about violation of marital fidelity. Anyway, it is worth looking narrowly more attentively at behavior of the partner.
Psychologists note such signs that the husband descended on the left:
- differences of mood — sudden causeless joy or spontaneous grief have to guard;
- it is excessively attentive — the complex of fault dictates need to smooth down it somehow;
- unexpected gifts — if it did not happen long ago, such courses can mean the worst;
- irascibility and irritability on the flat place — it is possible, he was simply tired, and can his thoughts far, and here everything grew hateful to it;
- talk about parting — attempt of modeling of a situation and probing of the soil;
- discharge from family cares and communication — your thoughts, opinion and joint projects became uninteresting to it (for example, repair);
- attempts to hide — the spouse avoids stay row, is silent, getting off with the general words, goes to other room even for an elementary talk on work;
- cavils — what earlier the husband smoothed (an unsuccessful dish, an extra kilo of weight of the wife) strains him now and he speaks about it aloud;
- rare sex or its total absence — it is possible, on the party everything with it is good, and here is unnecessary.
Actually, each of these reasons can quite have a reasonable explanation, but when they meet in various combinations, that is a serious occasion to think.
How to behave at treason of the husband?
The behavior model depends on the chosen way — to leave or try to keep family. Here the speech about the second possible way. It is worth analyzing the estimated mistakes and to try to correct somehow them.
Read also how to forgive treason of the husband and to keep family.
It is possible and is necessary to try any logical methods:
- Behavior. Even if in soul everything burns for offense, it is necessary to behave quietly, kindly, to constrain sharp rushes. It is hard, but correction of a situation is worth it. It is possible to leave hysterics for later when everything is got back on track.
- Situation. The husband wants to see houses an order, to feel a tasty smell and to like the atmosphere of a cosiness — the house for this purpose.
- Appearance. Many women, having learned about incorrectness of the soulmate, are depressed, cease to watch themselves, than only aggravate a situation. It is necessary to cross this moment and to try to get it together. After all, the person has to be beautiful first of all for himself. New clothes, a fashionable hairstyle, beautiful manicure, record to the gym — here a way for return of self-confidence and drawing attention of the husband.
- Conversation. About all troubles it is possible to talk to the adequate person. In the course of discussion, problems can be opened and also be found ways of their solution.
- Secret. It is possible to provoke darling to jealousy, to interest him in existence of some secret. Sudden inconvenient calls when it is necessary to leave to other room for a conversation, sudden delay from work, trips on affairs during week-end have to interest the spouse.
- Sex. It was not long ago? Also will not be if not to take business in hand. The man wants to see a sparkle, but not routine occupations from which to both partners it is not especially joyful.
- Competitor. The last that needs to be done, it to communicate with her. Should not concern the wife who is she, than lives, etc. At self-sufficiency and a sure self-assessment the objective to return to family of the husband will be achieved also without excessive knowledge of the accidental passion of the spouse.
What to do that the husband did not change?
The simplest answer to such question is to love it. Not in himself and so that he knew it, felt and sought to reciprocate. Here, besides, self-confidence, emphasized appearance, normal behavior and understanding is important for the woman that the partner — not property, but a half. The harmonious relations a little in whom will cause desire to descend on the party.
Very often the reasons of treason are in lack of sex which is looked for and is with other women. You should not leave intimate proximity for later, for tomorrow or on Saturday, it is joy for two. During sex it is necessary to make so that the husband did not want to seek intimate proximity elsewhere any more even if to it it will be persistently offered.
Important! Figuratively speaking new feelings, poses and opening will for a long time or forever let know to the spouse that the wife for him at all not read book, and only the beginning of the following volume.
In what cases it is possible to forgive treason of the husband
When the woman learned that the spouse changed her, it is necessary to consider a situation in all its aspects to decide how to arrive. It is necessary to understand whether accidentally it occurred (levity, effect of alcoholic beverages, after the rough quarrel in a condition of a stress) or this systematic event. Also it is worth estimating whether there is at it a feeling of fault, repentance, whether there were feelings or he impudently lies and dodges.
Presence of love for the husband
To forgive treason not easy, and to forget it, probably, it is unreal. Here to the forefront there are feelings — the love can help to overcome this event, destructive for family. The loving woman, perhaps and not at once, but is capable to justify for herself behavior of the soulmate. But also the wise wife, will analyze a situation and will take measures that it did not happen any more.
These measures can be different — from change of appearance before attitude change. In extreme cases, the woman for love will suffer unfaithfulness, but she will hardly get happiness from such family life.
Presence of love at the husband
If the spouse changed, but does not leave, it can mean two things — he does not need the relations on the party and the affair was fleeting (for any reason did not resist temptation) or the husband has a full-fledged mistress and everything suits it in life (houses feed and cajole, and he has satisfaction on the party). It is necessary to distinguish what of these situations occurred.
As it was already told above, the loving man sincerely will regret and will apologize in the most various ways. In other words, at once it will be visible that he loves in spite of the fact that he accidentally stumbled. In this case reconciliation is possible and through time family life will get better and will even begin to sparkle new paints.
Whether you know? About a half of spouses (44%) learn about an adultery independently, having studied a situation or having tracked down the partner. 30% learn about deception from the soulmate, 21% — are absolutely accidental, and the others — from all-knowing well-wishers.
Whether the relations long last
Duration of the restored relations depends on the efforts made by both parties. Absolutely polar phrases can be the motto: forgot, we move further or broken not to stick together. Here characters of spouses — the proud authoritative lady play a large role if transfers the treason fact, but will constantly remind of it until the relations stop. The quiet and silent woman will modestly rejoice to what is until again it wants to the husband someone more brightly.
Therefore for preservation of marriage the weighed approach is necessary, and from both family members. Anyway, you should not listen to the divorced girlfriend who it is proud says that turned out the husband. Perhaps, everything really happened at all not so, but how to be in such situation she will impart a certain stereotype.
The large role is played by presence at couple of juvenile children. Many spouses continue to live together and keep visibility of family for the sake of the descendants. One business when the son already adult guy, and the daughter turned into the full age girl — parents are able to afford to take care of the own life. For now children are under their guardianship, for many it appears a deterrent.
When reasonably you suspect about treason of the husband or already precisely you know about it, to make the correct decisions very not easy. But it is necessary to try to make it — at least for himself. Ideally it is necessary to solve everything heart and soul, connecting logic. The decisions made on emotions seldom are correct and can bring then bitter disappointment and a regret, but change something can be already late.