Quarrels with darling – one of the being relationship. The conflict can be perceived differently: as an opportunity to overcome problems and to become even closer or as small doomsday. If you consider that it is not the end yet and is what to fight for, after the quarrel with the guy classify a situation and prepare for collaboration over the general happiness.
If during the quarrel you feel that emotions govern a conversation, interrupt a discussion and disperse on different corners. Explain to the young man that your relations are expensive to you and therefore you want to cool down and quietly to consider all incident. Day-two mentally do not come back to your quarrel, do not try to find guilty and to tell offenses which did not manage to shout to it in a face. Be engaged in the daily affairs and give the consciousness full-time job or a hobby as much as possible. Later an established period sit down at a table and write down theses of your quarrel on a leaf. Clean all skirmish from personal charges and attempts to throw fault on another. Allocate only the cause of a quarrel and those points in which your opinions differ. At this stage you can be helped by the best friend or the psychologist – having listened to retelling of events, the assistant will separate important from insignificant. Having studied the made list, try to understand who in what is right and in what – no. Seldom happens that only one of quarreling, and the second – the victim in pure form is absolutely right. Regardless of whether it turned out to carry out to you this task, you pass to the following step. Define what you want to achieve further that for you is priority: to keep the relations, to force the person to apologize, prove the case, etc. Depending on the purpose think what can be made for its achievement. Make a start from real conditions. Write to what acts you are ready to go personally and in what question your position is basic and unshakable. Then express in writing the requirements to the guy – they also have to help you to achieve the objective. Again meet the guy. Tell him that you want to understand a situation together to overcome this difficulty. If you were wounded by his words or acts, tell him about it. But stating claims, you speak about unworthy acts, without generalizing and without becoming personal. That is you can tell that you will be wounded by his carelessness. But do not say that it is the insensible block incapable to love. Offer those options of actions which you defined as saving and promoting achievement of the goal. Ask the guy to tell what he wants to achieve and what ways of an exit sees. Compare its offers to the position, to installations, basic for you. On a basis yours of thoughts and the proposal of the guy try to come together to the decision and to formulate it aloud – that it was clear to both of you to what you came.