Where the love and why leaves

Where the love and why leaves

Often happens that once strong feelings to the partner weaken, the love leaves, couple leaves. There is only pain, disappointment and attempt to find the reason for the incident. Many blame for everything themselves, others shift responsibility to the partner, the third consider the reason external factors. But in terms of psychology put absolutely in another.


1. At the very beginning of the relations the man and the woman excessively idealize each other. They exaggerate merits of the partner and do not notice shortcomings. Often attribute to the partner such properties which he does not possess, and hardly when gets. Even if positive qualities are in practice quite real, negative accidents and misunderstanding are perceived as trifles. Being in captivity of illusions, all perceive it as a comfortable state and do not hurry to leave delusions.

2. Roots of the described phenomenon go to earlier childhood of the person. Already to age of 3 years the small child not only realizes the love for parents, but also idealizes them. He does not notice parental shortcomings, and their positive sides eclipse all the rest. Usually to puberty this stage of love for parents passes. But if it does not happen, the young man or the girl will experience in the future difficulties with search of the soulmate. They will look for some ideal partner and to leave at the first signs of his "not ideality".

3. After a while the relations in couple after the period of idealization come to the following stage – depreciation. It is inevitable if the man and the woman approach and begin to spend much time together, begin to live together. And the illusions were stronger during the first stage, the stronger they to collapse. Shortcomings of the partner become just intolerable. To take this period hard as in darling negative qualities are exaggerated now and at all positive are not noticed. At this stage most often there is also a parting. It seems that it is much simpler to change the partner, than to work as much on already existing relations.

4. The same stage is gone by the teenager during the sexual and social maturing. He notices shortcomings of parents, more often they are exaggerated in his consciousness. Often he does not notice merits of parents any more. By 18-21 years this stage passes too. But if for any reasons it does not occur, the young man or the girl will not trust the real and potential partners, and it will be negatively reflected in the relations with an opposite sex.

5. The third stage of the relations between the man and the woman – integration. It is reached not by everything but only those who worked on the relations during depreciation. In other words, fought for their preservation. At this stage the partners really look at each other and see all pluses and minuses of everyone. And behave naturally, without trying to prove to be in the best light. In this stage the true love for the rest of life also begins.

Author: «MirrorInfo» Dream Team