Sooner or later any family having the adopted child faces a question of whether children should reveal a secret of their adoption. Certainly, everyone has the right to solve independently: to tell the children the truth or not. But experts express opinion that the warm conversation on purity is very favorable. Existence of any secret in family promotes emergence of reticence, manifestation of mistrust and deterioration in interpersonal relationship.
At decision-making to tell the child the truth about his origin and emergence in your family, it is necessary to consider its age features. So, if your child is from 0 to 3 years old, then it is that period when it is already possible to begin to lay the foundation for formation of understanding at the child of the fact that it is reception. It is important to remember that at this age for it your main relation and manifestation of love. The child does not do still division into "" and "others". If to begin at this age, then the child will get used that in a concept "reception" is not present anything terrible.
In case the age of the child is from 3 to 7 years, it is even easier to begin a conversation with it. Children of this age can ask many questions of that from where they appeared. This age period is considered the most successful for "disclosure of secrets". The fact that it is necessary to explain to the child all with simple words is important. The child can appeal several times to parents and a question to tell again about how it appeared in your family. Parents need to answer all his questions again, at the same time having paid attention to that, the child how correctly understood the story told by you earlier.
Aged from 7 up to 12 years children already sufficiently can realize history which happened to them. For this age the importance of implementation of rules and respect for the principles of justice is peculiar therefore they need to combine feelings which they have to the adoptive parents and biological. At this stage the initiative in discussion of a question of adoption from adoptive parents can be required. The teenage age of children is not the best stage for disclosure of secrecy of adoption. Teenagers face need of self-identification, self-determination. It is the period of doubts, experiences and uncertainty in all that surrounds them. News that it is an adopted child in family can bring a bigger chaos in his inner world. But if there is a probability that the teenager can learn this secret from other people, then it is necessary that adoptive parents talked to him and revealed secrecy of adoption. To the teenager to know everything from close people better. Also during this period the support of the teenager and a reminder to it that you love it is important and you value it.