With the advent of the child the family life cardinally changes, and these reshifts not always take place smoothly: quite often after the birth of the kid between spouses the conflicts begin to arise
Postnatal depression – the main reason for the conflicts
In the first months after the child's birth the conflicts between new parents often happen because of the postnatal depression endured by mother. About a postnatal depression as about psychological frustration, began to speak rather recently. Our mothers and grandmothers, most likely, did not even hear about it though they for certain were influenced. The postnatal depression is not a whim and not manifestation of bad temper of young mother, but the physiological condition of an organism caused by hormonal reorganization.
The main difference of a postnatal depression from usual that to depression, tearfulness, feeling of alarm the aggression, etc. increases. The woman in such state can fly easily into a rage: to shout, tell mucks and even to lash out with fists. The conflicts in family begin to take place more often. Actually it is only an echo of an ancient instinct of protection of the posterity which wakes up after the delivery. In such situation the father of the child and other close people need to show patience and restraint: when the hormonal background of young mother returns to normal, she will calm down and will become same as earlier.
Jealousy of the child
In the first months of life the child and mother are strongly attached to each other, especially, if the woman nurses. Feeding, walks, bathing, laying to sleep – all this occupies the most part of time and mother's forces. At the same time the father of the child can feel thrown and unnecessary. At the subconscious level there are a jealousy and offense which find a way out through the conflicts. The husband can begin in open to show to the wife of a claim. The wife, in turn, fairly notices that she cannot become torn that the husband – the big boy, and is able to flirt for himself. Segregation of duties on child care will help with such situation. For example, the father can undertake evening walks and bathings of the child. In this case mother will have 1.5-2 hours of free time for which she will manage to make a dinner, to put the house in order or just to have a rest. The conflicts because of the child will happen less often if each spouse makes the feasible contribution to care for the kid.
Different approaches to education
When the child begins to grow up, there are new conflicts in family based on different approaches to education. For example: the father loudly lectures and slaps in a bottom of the guilty son who at the same time is filled in with crying. At mother from such picture the heart is broken, and it snatches on the husband with charges of cruelty. Not only that there is a conflict, so also the child sees inconsistency in behavior of parents. Instead of realizing the wrongfulness and to learn a lesson, he takes offense at the father. For the benefit of the child that parents adhered to one line in education. For this purpose spouses should agree initially how to react to actions of the kid what it is necessary to abuse for how to punish how to encourage, etc., any disagreements, regarding educational techniques, it is necessary to solve alone without child.