Unsuccessful marriage remained behind. The person started a new family, and it seems that now nothing will prevent to begin new – happier life. But something disturbs – it appears, feelings to the ex-wife are not forgotten yet.
The situation when the man married second marriage, continues to love the ex-wife, can cause bewilderment. If the person still loves that woman, it is difficult to understand why he with her divorced and married another. If the love for the first wife died, unclear why to remember it. Nevertheless, in life it happens rather often that it was worth thinking of it.
Reasons of "double" love
Not always the man gets divorced from wife voluntarily. Quite often it happens that husbands throw wives, but there is also an opposite situation when an initiator of a divorce is the wife. The reasons can be different: the woman fell in love with another, she did not accept a low wage of the husband. In some cases the husband himself provokes the woman to a divorce – for example, alcoholism, house dictatorship or "easy flirtations" on the party. But even in the latter case the husband can not lose affections for the wife and not wish to leave her.
The man who appeared in the status divorced not voluntarily, and at the request of the ex-wife, can quite keep feelings to it. It can occur even in case the man was not guilty to the wife if she offended him – the feeling of the hurt pride is not always capable to overcome love. Having appeared in such situation, the person can quite seek to find a consolation in new marriage. It is unlikely from this there will be something good: the principle "like cures like" cannot be applied to the human relations. The feeling to the ex-wife will not get to anywhere, and the new spouse who is not guilty in anything to the husband will suffer, feeling that the man lives with her without love.
Selectivity of memory
Even if the sympathy for the first wife died away after the divorce, it can revive in new marriage. The unexpected meeting with the former spouse can become "trigger". The human mentality possesses protective mechanisms, one of them – ability of memory to blocking of negative memoirs. If business ended with a divorce, so unpleasant sides in marriage was more, than pleasant, but will hold good in remembrance, and bad "will throw out". In several years after the divorce the man will remember more often not how the wife exhausted it scandals, and how she was good in a bed as she perfectly prepared. It will force it to compare the ex-wife to real whose shortcomings he observes "here and now" – and, certainly, comparison will be not in favor of the second wife. Such succession of events is especially probable if the previous marriage was happy and ended not with a divorce, but the death of the spouse. The become a widow/widower or divorced man should remember that marriage is not a cure of psychological problems. It is possible to start a new family only having been sure that the past will not have negative impact on the arising relations.