In the modern world the real communication recedes into the background more and more, giving way to virtual. It is unsurprising because also the romantic relationship is pretty often built up on correspondence today.
But if little flirtation on the Internet — an event very ordinary, then a question of whether it is possible to get in such a way to fall in love the person really, demands separate study.
Whether the novel on the Internet is possible
The novel on the Internet, really, is quite possible. But here about as far as it is safe, at psychologists the opinions differ. Let's risk to assume that the correct answer depends on specific circumstances, namely — on whether the person understands a difference between real and virtual communication and whether substitutes the real life thought up.
Until we understand that our prince charming in fact can be the sad botanist or the respectable father of family having five children from three different wives — everything is all right. But if we sincerely take the image presented to us in all good faith, at all without thinking that, to put it mildly, slightly we embellish the real situation, describing itself — nothing good will terminate similar contact.
Young girls quite often without memory fall in love with actors, singers, poets (sometimes long ago the dead) and even literary heroes, and build up the romantic relationship with the idol in the imaginations. The virtual novel on correspondence in a sense is similar to such love, everything only looks is much more realistic. Unfortunately, communication of this sort almost so seldom passes into the reality mode as love for Brad Pitt in marriage with it.
Whether you know? In 2016 the movie "I Love the Husband" of film company "Star Media" came out. It is possible to call its plot modern interpretation of the popular operetta "Bat" where the wife manages to return love of the got bored husband, having appeared before it in an image of the mysterious stranger.
So, statistically, couples, the long time communicating on the Internet and which was crazy from each other, as a rule, quickly are disappointed in the partner and leave soon after the first meeting "alive". And still it is not necessary to despair: The Internet is the great invention of mankind if to be able to use it as the tool, but not as a substitute of real life.
For example, the virtual novel not only is safe, but also is useful in such life situations:
- The girl wants to improve the English — colloquial or written (at communication with men from other countries).
- The young girl has no experience of communication with men, and she, seeking to comprehend this science, experiments, tries different lines of conduct in correspondence and thus it learns to be pleasant.
- The married woman who is not wishing to fool around, but at the same time looking for confirmations to the fact that she can still be desired for an easy shake-up and increase in own self-assessment starts noncommittal flirtation with the virtual admirer.
- The wife, seeing that the spouse slightly grew cold to her, under an assumed name meets him in Network and, having got it to fall in love again, then opens cards (a method dangerous as it is difficult to foresee as the man will react to the fact that he was made out a fool, but very concerning and fascinating).
In a word, the novel on the Internet is a quite good idea, but only in case not to replace with it the normal relations, and only to supplement them.
How to get to fall in love itself the guy on correspondence
So, our purpose is to zakadrit the guy, the tool — the gadget with Internet connection. The methods from antiquity used by women to entice the man, namely, carelessly darted glance from under eyelashes, "accidentally" become bare knee, a sexual dress, the exciting perfume aroma — all this is inaccessible here, so, it is necessary to look for other means.
How to behave
If the purpose of virtual communication is not simply to hook on attention of the guy and to include it in own collection, and to construct friendly, ideally the romantic relations, in the course of correspondence it is the best of all to remain itself, but not to play a role of the femme fatale which you in fact are not. However to play and make advances — not the same. Still nobody cancelled effectiveness of feminine coquetry.
Read what is virtual love.
One more rule: try to create an integral image. If your communication began with discussion of professional subjects because of which common interests were found in you, do not hurry to change the set style of correspondence, having become interested in the guy and wishing to entice it, on too frivolous.
In other circumstances the same man could respond with pleasure to such appeal, but, having adjusted on absolutely other harmony, most likely, he will be unpleasantly surprised and disappointed.
Rules of communication
In an epistolary genre there are rules. Having made the amendment that communication takes place online, and therefore there is no need to write long letters and for weeks to wait until the mail carrier brings the answer, it is possible to formulate several practical recommendations:
- Begin with short messages. For example, a terse greeting after which the partner has an opportunity to confirm readiness to communicate. Without having waited for such answer, postpone dialogue until more right moment.
- You do not load excess information. Make correspondence the easiest and easy. It does not exclude at all an opportunity to show the intelligence, but do not forget that brevity — the sister of talent.
- Always attentively re-read the letter before sending. Crucially and thoughtfully. If after adjustment your message became twice shorter — all of you do correctly.
- Respect the standard rules of decency. Well-mannered people never call after 21-00 even if they precisely know that the person has insomnia. The same rules have to be applied at virtual communication. If you are going to correspond at night, agree on such opportunity better in advance. Do not allow a situation when your messages are associated with feeling of irritation and a thought of how you at the wrong time.
- Do not interfere in its personal space, show a step. The man with delight will react to the offer to tell that he most of all interests him (work, cars, soccer, fishing, etc.), but will hardly want to answer questions of the girl, a living space, salary and other similar things.
- Specify when you joke. At written communication of people does not see your person, and therefore the phrase written by you when reading can make at all not that sense which you enclosed in it. Not to offend the interlocutor, it is better to refuse in general ambiguities, but if you cannot restrain, attach the specifying smilie to the letter.
- Be individual. Try not to use hackneyed phrases like "I congratulate, I wish good luck in private life". Think out uncommon addresses and wishes which will be associated only with you, it obligatory will be estimated. By the way, never congratulate the guy someone else's verses. If you cannot write, noteworthy, tell in prose, but so that it was clear: each your word — for it.
- Do not abuse and do not praise yourself. Provide to him to size up you.
- Avoid subjects which cause a negative. The policy, corruption, the prices of the communal flat — let speak grandmothers on a bench about it. If you cannot change a situation, change the attitude towards her. Your interlocutor himself also sees that the world is imperfect, your task is to become a light spot in this gray life.
- As often as possible call it by name. The man has to feel that your letter is directed to him, but not just helps you to practice in wit.
Important! Very perspective way: try to think up unusual modification of his name that as you, more nobody called it. Only take care of that it sounded beautifully, originally and, God forbid, not offensively.
Not to force an event
To admit the first letter that sat up in maids and you dream of a marriage — a certain way to stop the relations till their beginning. Men in panic are afraid of any infringement of the freedom especially declared the woman, still any special value for them not being. Therefore it is the best of all to begin acquaintance in Network with an intellectual conversation or little flirtation — depending on what of these options is closer and more interesting to you. Having felt that the relations tightened you, and the partner seems pleasant and "promising", it is worth hinting at prospect to meet in real carefully. In many respects depends on its reaction whether he is that for whom gives itself. You should not insist anyway, but if completely the lover, according to him, the guy refuses a meeting, it is necessary to think of whether it is worth continuing the unpromising novel.
Virtual correspondence is, of course, not the school dictation, however ability to write without gross grammatical blunders and to accurately state the thoughts characterizes by the general level of development of the personality.
The lack of elementary literacy in itself is not an obstacle for communication, but you should not take offense if you are able to attract and win at the same time only the guy having very ordinary mental capacities. Therefore to manage to be pleasant to the man solid, deep and clever, over the level of the written language nevertheless it is necessary to work seriously.
It will be useful for you to esteem, as well as where to get acquainted with the man for the serious relations.
Not to compare it to others
The silliest that the girl trying to tempt the guy can make, is to tell him as far as he is better, cleverer, wittier, than all whom she met earlier (or, absolutely it is concrete, her being). Such comparison does not flatter the man, and opposite, pushes away him. Reasons here a little.
First, the guy subconsciously tries on on himself a role former about which after parting will tell in a negative way, and it does not want to appear in a similar situation. So, will try to curtail communication. Secondly, men not only poligamna by the nature, but also are inclined to believe in monogamy of the woman sacredly. The thought that his potential partner already had someone is unpleasant to any guy. It does not mean that the girl has to represent from herself innocence, it is not necessary to tell simply any details.
And here we pass to "thirdly": in order that in the woman there was always a riddle, its past never has to be a subject for discussion. About the biography it is possible to report only general information and the dry facts, but on any questions of last communications laugh the matter off, keep silent, but do not answer at all, especially in details. So you will be able to keep an intrigue, but also, the man by all means will estimate your tactfulness and decency in relation to those whom you left.
Read that it is possible to write to the guy.
Not to answer chilly
Unfriendliness, roughness, dullness and a negative each of us has enough in real life. Building up the relationship with the virtual partner, we look for opposite — positive emotions and feeling that we are interesting and loved. When on our messages the short and dry answer follows, it is perceived as deception of expectations. There is no wish to write such person again any more, and communication quickly comes to an end.
Not to allow it to miss
They say, the tediousness top — to begin to answer with all gravity the question "How Are You Doing?". Some girls should remember this rule. If you want to tell about something even if about what very much concerns you at present, try to track that at the same time one of important criteria was observed at least — a bright form or interesting contents (it is better both). In other words, you can share really interesting, useful or important information with the guy what he will be grateful to you for, or just to give him pleasure the bright and artistic story which he with pleasure will retell to the friends and acquaintances. In the first case you will win reputation clever and interesting, in the second — cheerful and easy in communication. The main thing that with you it was not boring for it.
Important! The easiest way not to allow the guy to get bored — to start a conversation about it. If or cheerful you laid up nothing clever, just listen to it, this scheme works safely. However, if in the tenth minute of such stories it became boring for you, perhaps, it is necessary to find other partner in correspondence.
What to do if bothered most to try to obtain male attention
You strictly follow all rules, watch closely each word, very much try to be ideal, and you even, it seems, managed to hook on it, but … At some point you begin to feel like Shakherezada every night forced to tell fairy tales to the cruel tsar not to be executed in the morning. The romantic relations — process mutual, they are doomed to success only when each of the parties not only receives, but also gives. If to you bothered to feel that you "are stupidly used" — means, it is time to change tactics.
To add an intrigue in communication
Actually the intrigue was used by Shakherezada, wishing to keep itself life. Remember classics: any its fairy tale broke on the most interesting place when morning, so, time of the announced execution came. And the ingenuous tsar every time transferred execution of a sentence next day to listen to the end of the termination of history.
There is no sense to give concrete examples of how it is possible to intrigue the modern man, in that case it will already be not an intrigue. The main thing to capture an essense: it is necessary to make a pause on the most interesting place.
Whether you know? Shakherezada's history comes to an end with the fact that after one thousand and one night of fairy tales the cunning daughter of the vizier was to the master with three uneven-age sons to whom she managed to give birth to him during this time, however the autocrat who was fallen in love completely declared that he already already decided not to execute long ago the wonderful wife.
Not to respond to messages at once
If your elect got used that you always in touch and in any the moment, convenient for it, are ready to entertain him pleasant communication, it is necessary to show it that it not so. Sustain a pause. At first once, then another.
Surely apologize then for what could not be answered immediately (you can not explain the reasons, it will only add mystery), otherwise the guy will suspect you of manipulations. But be not overzealous! The Internet is incredibly big platform for communication; having disappeared for a long time, you risk that to you will find replacement.
Finally some more useful tips:
- Clean a profile. Take care of that, having decided to collect information on you in Network, the guy did not find what will not fit into an image which you want to create (a photo with former, impartial comments, subscriptions to the doubtful websites, etc.).
- Do not send others photos instead of own and be not fond of the photoshop.
- Make communication regular, but do not hang in dialogue for hours. The guy has to get used to you, but should not be tired of you.
- Learn to say goodbye in time. This big art: on the one hand, it is impossible to interrupt the man with enthusiasm telling about himself, and with another — because of a table as speak, it is necessary to rise with slight feeling of hunger.
The Internet gives the amplest opportunities for pretense, and therefore, having hidden behind the monitor screen, it is possible to capture without any problem attention of any man. But if the meeting in real is inevitable, creating the novel on correspondence, it is worth thinking in advance of what you eventually your elect should see and to try to make so that he was not disappointed.