Hesitate on a divorce not from good life. There are situations when it is the only thing to do, but there are such where it is worth thinking. Anyway, the made decision is irreversible will change life not only of spouses, but also their children.
There are unions happy, but sometimes it is better for spouses to disperse. Ideal option – a divorce without scandals and reproaches, peace when both partners remain friends. However such situation is infrequent.
To leave or remain?
The main reason for a gap – misunderstanding, inability to listen, the aspirations to keep the relations. Decide to get divorced not from good life. Alcoholism, drug addiction, house tyranny – good reasons for parting. Other situations demand considering.
Usually marriage becomes happy if about the partner work on themselves and together look for compromise solutions. But not each person is ready to such approach. In heaven the alliances are concluded seldom.
- Often people in each other are disappointed, Instead of work on the relations they make the decision to leave.
- Both live in one apartment, but true couple are not.
- The full discrepancy of characters, temperaments acts as a good reason.
The divorce in such cases can become the only exit for all. It is better to disperse if it is impossible to live further together. And children – not the reason for maintenance of the relations. Both the hostility, and indifference between mother and the father equally injure the child.
However whatever arguments were, the divorce was and remains a stress even in case of a peace divergence. Both in time, and after parting the partners can lighten, joy and even euphoria.
But very much quickly such feelings are changed by fear of the future, uncertainty, despair, a regret and time spent for nothing in unsuccessful marriage. After a gap such manifestations – norm. They will take place over time if it is correct to endure them.
There is an opinion that after parting the chance of finding of the suitable partner increases. There are new opportunities of creation of happier relations. It is right only partly.
How to make the right decision
More successful union, will require serious "correction of mistakes:
- it is necessary to learn lessons from last marriage;
- to change most; to realize own responsibility and a personal contribution to disintegration of the former relations.
So, a divorce – not always the ideal solution of problems. Even serious long crises in family can be worried. After that the husband and the wife reach the new level of the relations.
Specialists psychologists offer the free test. Spouses represent that there passed not less than ten years after the divorce. Both have to look at themselves in new life: where they, as, with whom. Further everyone takes a detached view of himself eyes, trying to give himself advice on search of the new partner.
It is possible the fact is that there is a search of the ideal person which does not exist, or search is aimed at the copy of the parent. Then all attempts of the new relations are doomed to a failure.
There is the second test. The wife and the husband is offered to remember:
- for what they fell in love with each other;
- what was between them good.
Questions are answered by everyone and the same asks the partner. If both can answer honestly, remember these moments, then marriage can be saved.
As option, spouses can live within three months separately:
- if during this time they last to each other, then life proved that it is possible to save the relations and it is necessary to do it;
- if to live separately – the long-awaited purpose at least one, the union is doomed.
Constant lack of money, depressions because of constant scandals when the thought of unfreedom kills, dependences on this family – strong reasons for a gap. If it is not possible neither to keep marriage, nor to improve the relations, to endure a divorce and to spouses, and their children will be helped by psychologists. It is important to remember that new marriage can be the worsened copy former if any of partners does not wish to change, will not understand that not only the former spouse is guilty of a gap.