Between mother and the daughter rather often there are quarrels and offenses. Especially when the girl is in teenage age. When her own outlook is formed and there is an intensive physical and spiritual growth.
True mother has to be wise to create trusting relationship with the daughter. It is necessary to learn to agree with the child literally from the cradle. Those mothers who build the relations with the daughter by the principle "mother girlfriend" face pluses and minuses of such situation.
Pluses of the relations "mother girlfriend"
With mother who will jump with the child on a trampoline and will play dolls never it will be boring. She will close eyes to a lot of things, will not begin to become angry if toys are scattered. Even, perhaps, in playful way will bring together them together with the daughter. Usually such children grow up sociable, easily make contact with people.
Minuses of the relations "mother girlfriend"
Mame girlfriend is heavier to achieve discipline from the child. She will be very cautious inadvertently not to offend the daughter. And it is necessary to check homeworks at the child, to demand careful attitude to the things, to watch food of the daughter, not to indulge her frequent hobby for chocolate, to stop her some unpleasant tricks. In a word, the girlfriend it is possible to become for the daughter, but without fanaticism. The main task of mother is to summon from the daughter respect and trust. Always it is necessary to remember that children need caress and attention. All of them can receive it through communication with the mother. Always it is necessary to be interested in affairs of the daughter in kindergarten, school, in various circles. It is desirable to tell the daughter cautionary and ridiculous stories from the childhood, to invite girlfriends of the child home more often. In such sincere atmosphere the daughter by all means will express desire to share the thoughts with mother, to ask it council. The necessary foundation for the similar relations is laid in the early childhood of the child.
Behavior of mother in a conflict situation with the daughter
What to do if despite the friendly relations, there was a quarrel between mother and the daughter? Mother has to remember that she was once little too, young and therefore it is important to keep steadiness and quiet tone. Even if there was an emotional meltdown, the woman shouted at the daughter, perhaps, even gave her slap in the face. In such situation mother should cool down, calm down, sit down near the daughter, and without justifying oneself, to explain the reason of the behavior. Let's say the conflict arose because of outstanding lessons. Mother patiently has to explain to the child that the school is an everyday work. Same, as well as for the adult, field of activity. Perhaps, it is worth giving an example from life of the friends or relatives who studied consciously well, and then reached certain heights in life. Some little girls should literally persuade to be made something. But mother should develop patience and ability to convince. For example, to explain to the daughter that now it is difficult in study, but there will come vacation and it will be possible to organize a joint trip to rest. Of course, subsequently, mother has to keep the word. A little differently the situation in the teenage period is. The first love, treachery, friendship – all this causes a huge squall of emotions in the teenage daughter. Besides – mothers should remember themselves. And how it reacted in youth at such situation? What she had relations at this age with mother? It is not necessary to repeat her incorrect behavior. Or, on the contrary, it is possible to borrow from own mother positive psychological receptions in the relations with the daughter. The most important, it is not necessary to extort secrets from the daughter or to press on her! If before mother with the daughter had cordial trusting relationship, the teenager nevertheless will tell about the painful problem. But it is necessary to remember that for the daughter by digging in her phone, on a page on social networks, the friendly relations can destroy regular espionage of mother. Even if the woman considers that she acts for the good of the daughter, it is not necessary to be fond of such occupation. The exception is made, of course, by a situation when the child is suspected of intake of psychotropic substances or participates in any suspicious groups. Many mothers try to impose to the maturing daughter the views. In such situation the girl will always seek to get rid of importunate participation of parents. Therefore it is important to mother to distinguish that side where her, apparently, friend advice stretches a point. It is also important to know that what longer mother remains young at heart, she is closer to those to the daughter. Whether mother can be on friendly terms with the teenage daughter? Can. But the behavior of the daughter in process of her growing entirely depends on mother. Therefore, it is necessary to remember here – that you will seed, you will reap. And it is necessary to sow the strict, but kind atmosphere constructed on love, respect and trust. Let these hackneyed phrases be familiar to all, but only in such conditions mother will be able to be on friendly terms with the daughter, and at any age.