Marriage is serious test not so much for durability of feelings how many on wisdom. Often the women who married ideal men suddenly find out that their elects became boring husbands. Or perhaps it is worth looking at it differently and to recognize that in fruitless dreams about the invented ideals we often do not appreciate that present which is nearby?
"Candy buketny" the period of the relations is usually filled with love delights, euphoria, joy of recognition. But "night blindness" is relative, women instinctively feel "the ideal man" who will become the reliable family man. Despite of "maidenly dreams", mentally healthy woman between "hero lover" and "the ideal partner in life", most likely, will choose the second. What set of advantages does such man in the opinion of the woman and why he is lost by burning "machoes" and cheerful, but inspiring sense of danger, adventurers have?
Its advantages are shown not brightly, but is consecutive.
- The attitude towards the darling do not depend on momentary mood.
- He does not drink to exhaustion, is drawn towards a healthy lifestyle, carefully watches a holiday table that the lady did not drink superfluous and decently looked.
- It is serious in the relations, in the darling sees the future wife – and behaves respectively: gives the "necessary" gifts, expresses care in concrete acts, and not just in words, consults and waits for approval of the actions.
- He loves children and wishes to have in the long term the, is respectful to relatives of the potential companion of life, is ready to close eyes to their small and large shortcomings.
- It is thorough in everything, from the choice of the menu at restaurant before improvement of the dwelling, responsible and decent, is never late for an appointment and if is late – that warns about it.
- It is attentive, indulgent, does not flirt with other women and I am always glad to help to solve pressing problems – from financial aid before moving of future relatives to the dacha.
- In the relations it is patient, in a bed it is gentle, is able to look after the darling, it is not fixated on sex, tries to create the equal emotional atmosphere, does not speculate with passions and intrigues, does not torment, trying to obtain recognition that you without it immediately will die as you equal to it are not present and cannot be.
- And, of course, your boyfriend does not avoid a talk about the future in which sees himself and you consisting in a legal marriage.
Isn't that so, such type of men vospinimatsya as the real ideal?
And here the wedding died down, the final of the romantic fairy tale is followed by family everyday life. The dream was executed - your ideal lives with you under the same roof, wakes up and fills up under your loving look... Gradually the physical inclination recedes, other cares appear. Children are born, dachas are under construction, time is eaten by daily efforts, and sometimes it seems that life became ordinary, gray, not interesting.
After a marriage such men sometimes begin to seem too boring, sometimes – even bores. What was perceived with delight earlier - sometimes causes disappointment. Women can have an impression that feelings die away, and the quiet man in house-shoes the real mattress and the henpecked. Family habits seem in a curve mirror of female whims as degradation of romantic passion. But it is the mistake often peculiar to women. It is in this regard much simpler than the man!
Attachment at these bores and henpeckeds - deep and strong, as affection for mother. Such hardly without the reasons, good on that, will go "on the left", to it quiet life, fishing, hobbies – sport, chess is more to liking, than the politician, the book, household chores, the TV, the Internet. Such meek creatures will prefer to series of love affairs and a set of victories one woman - native, habitual, irreplaceable. And if suddenly seems to you that life with such man is fresh and ordinary, look around and recognize: most often desire of "mad romanticism" in the stable relations is just a whim.
Before demanding from your "boring" spouse romantic passions about which existence you know, generally from long-playing melodramatic series and articles in ladies' magazines assess a situation soberly. Note pluses which to you were presented by life acting through this person. And them much! Do not you trust? You look.
- At you cranes in the bathroom and in kitchen do not leak, plaster on walls is not husked, in the fridge there is always a quality food, and in clothes – sound things in which it is not a shame to go outside.
- You do not sit after midnight waiting for arrival of the blessed, do not look for it in nearest "bars", being burned with shame before neighbors.
- Health of children, as well as yours – for your "bore" among paramount priorities and if you get sick, he will refuse to himself in many respects to provide high-quality treatment and care.
- In the house the quiet atmosphere, equal psychological climate in which your children who are not frightened of family scandals grow. Your "boring" husband will not begin to create out of the blue to you stressful situations.
- You are protected from unpleasant surprises in the form of the impudent mistress or it is unknown where the spent family budget. Even will not come to your "half" to mind to go to the resort to one, without family.
- Near you the reliable, loving person who forgives you your shortcomings does not notice sometimes extra kilos, the put too much salt soup, annoying mistakes, does not complain that you fall short of models for glossy magazines. Near it it is not terrible to ache, grow old...
Unless it – not what you dreamed of? And in exchange you are ready to offer your exemplary spouse sour, eternally dissatisfied, the person? A voice in which cold notes of unexpressed claims are heard?
And if to be up to the end honest, then recognize: you not so much lack passion in this marriage how many simple human gratitude – one of forms of expression of love which often looks at all not as it can be represented in rough melodramas and sentimental novels. Gratitude - what will never allow to wither love. And love, as is well-known – happiness basis. Be grateful for what to you was presented by destiny.