The dream practically of each girl consists in creation of strong family. Natural instincts say that something is missing, namely the child. With him the family will be full. But happens so that the man not always shares the woman's position. What reasons for refusal of addition in family exist?
Thinking of the man and woman strongly differs. She can even not guess that is the cornerstone of his fears.
There is a set of the reasons why men do not want to bring children.
Material aspect
- Financial problem. Addition in family assumes big material inputs. From behind it most of men has a fear that they will not be able to provide the family in necessary material volume
- Housing question. Not everyone in possession has even modest housing. To take housing in a mortgage or to rent apartment not each man will agree. In the first case — it is servitude for very big term. In the second — uncertainty in an opportunity to pay living space or unfair owners of apartments who can at any time ask to pack things and to free the room
- Unstable work. Who will like news about addition in family when at any time can discharge from office, it is possible to get laid off (especially if long ago about it there are rumors)
Problems with the wife
- Lack of attention from the woman. The husband is afraid that after appearance of the child the wife will switch the attention to the new family member. At the woman will be much less free time that can cause discharge from the man. The wife can give the spouse much less time - it frightens a strong half of mankind
- The spouse will become not well-groomed. Directing the efforts and time to the kid, the wife will not find time for herself, will cease to look after herself. Such prospect will hardly be able to please someone
- Lack of interest in sex. Men know that pregnancy and childbirth leave the marks in a hormonal background of women. Also during this period, also sexual life is limited. Frightens men that after the delivery most of women push away thoughts of sex, and especially sexual contact
Psychological problems at men
- All of us know that girls psychologically develop quicker. Boys lag behind them for several years. Respectively desire to have the child arises at women quicker, and at men the understanding can come several years later
- Age important indicator. At first the man can think that he is not ready to children because he is young. After a while can be not to them at all. And when there passes a little more time, he can understand that he is already too old to raise and raise children
- Fear of responsibility. Life of the bachelor and married man very different. After the wedding also the liability for the wife appears psychological, physical. And also and with the child. If in family the child that appears, then on the father the responsibility for life of the kid lays down too
- Fear of changes. Steady and stable life brings to the husband happiness, he knows what from it to wait. But appearance of children in a root changes all foundations of family. Everything is transformed beyond recognition. The man is afraid of cardinal changes
- Dislike for children. Perhaps, the key part of the problem is in the simplest solution. He can just not love children. There are situations in which he can tell for fun that he does not love children. The woman can apprehend it as unsuccessful, but then it will turn out that he did not joke at all
- To become the bad father. The person does not like to make mistakes about which it is possible to regret then. If to make a mistake in education of the child it is possible to receive the status of ""the bad father"". It is unlikely it will be pleasant to someone
- Desire to live ""in own pleasure"". Perhaps, the man did not manage to enjoy youth, the minimum responsibility, in other words, did not manage ""to be acquired"" and live for himself
- Already there is the child. He was already married, and from last marriage there was a child. It is one of the most hard cases. Such person already knows all reefs which are born with themselves by children, and does not want all this to repeat again. There is other option. Can arrange it that it already has 1 or several children. He considers that he already fulfilled the duty and now there is no sense to bring one more
- It is not confident in the feelings. Happens that he is simply not sure — whether love it whether he wants to be all life with this woman or not
- It is not confident in the choice of future mother for the children. Women are different. From some blows as heat, a cosiness and tranquility, and from others addictions and the wrong way of life. With the first type hardly something will be not so. And with the second there can be problems. The man has to be sure in the to the darling. He wants to have healthy and strong posterity which does not match smoking, alcohol or other addictions in any way
Problems with children
- Fear of children. They do not know what to say with the child about what with him to do what games to choose, they have no fatherly instinct
- Panic fear of dirt. Some people awfully are afraid of dirt, the scattered things, violation of an order in the house. Yes it meets infrequently, but takes place to be
- Additional duties. After the birth of the child it is necessary to do household chores, there will be no free time left on own interests. The whole day is painted on minutes
It is important to talk to the husband, to distinguish the reason and to solve it together, despite of difficulties because to be parents is the most great happiness.