Men change twice more often than women - such data were obtained by researchers by results of the conducted surveys. However not always news of incorrectness of the partner leads marriage to disintegration. Quite often men and to the mistress go, and do not leave the wife. And this fact mostly brings ladies into bewilderment. Psychologists will assure that men have reasons to arrive quite so.
Most often the man tries to suppress the fact that he has a bit on the side. And move this aspiration the different reasons - from desire to avoid scandals and dismantling to (strangely enough in this situation it sounds) reverent attitude to the wife.
Reasons of unfaithfulness
The reasons of unfaithfulness can be very much and many. This and alcoholic intoxication, and desire to revenge or punish the spouse, and the shortage of thrills of the house, etc. At the same time at all not the fact that the man who began to fool around more it does not love. Just he can receive less something houses from what it is easily given on the party.
It is natural if the fact of treason was opened, you should not accuse of all sins or the guilty spouse, or yourself. As a rule, both are guilty. Therefore it is necessary to do serious psychological work to find out the truth.
The fact that the man surely has to leave family in the presence at him the mistress is a myth. On the contrary, representatives of a strong half of mankind prefer to keep family, having an extramarital affair. Yes, sometimes one mistress replaces another, but the family at such gentleman is sacred. The man can not leave family for various reasons. For example, he really loves the wife, just owing to the nature he has not enough one woman. Or the wife is cold in a bed. Or... everyone has the explanation of such phenomenon. Besides, the situation when the man loves both the wife, and the mistress often meets, and does not wish to leave one of them. In this case the mistress obviously is in more advantageous position since she is aware that they have a love triangle. Whether and in this situation there will be a man in family directly depends on his wife and her reaction when she learns about an affair. The promise of a divorce of the mistress is heard most often. However such talk seldom reaches business. Often the egoism of the man, it is just like that convenient to them to live happens the reason.
The husband changes, but does not leave: what should I do?
If to the wife the truth opened, and she made the decision to forgive the husband, it is necessary to put, first of all, before it a question point-blank: either wife, or mistress. He surely has to make this difficult decision and choose one.
Often write in psychological sources that the husband cannot put such ultimatum. Really, in the form of the ultimatum you should not do it. But it is necessary that this decision literally ripened in air.
You should not resort to blackmail, threats and other low blows. The wife surely has to become more advantageous in comparison with the mistress. And it means that if made the decision to forgive, it is necessary to get it together - to become kind, sympathetic, soft and to begin to carry out desires of the man. Of course, from shares of reasonable. You should not turn yourself into the slave, only to keep the marriage. Remember that the man can begin to use a situation. It will be rather simple to replace a little behavior tactics, having corrected those lines which in you were not pleasant to the spouse. Also it is necessary to take care and about own appearance - make toilet, replace clothes, a hairstyle, etc. Find to yourself a hobby. Small private life and interests on the party will help to recover marriage, having made you in the opinion of the spouse more interesting. Remember that if it, having the mistress, does not leave you, so he needs you, values your feelings and loves you. And it is strong trumps in fight against the competitor.