The alarm becomes the constant companion of the modern person. Still - the world constantly changes, we are overcome by flows of information which it is difficult to understand. We so much have to manage to make. And if the adult feels ill at ease in such whirl, present what in such world is necessary the child who is inclined to be anxious. But it is possible to cope with concern. And adults can help children with it.
Instruction
1. In the morning you awake the child, he has breakfast, brushes teeth, gathers. Here just it was necessary to put shoes on and leave. And here you hear this awful phrase: ""Mother, I will not go to school. I do not want."" You know that the command tone will not help. You know what to ask, threaten and blackmail is useless. The only thing that you can tell the disturbing child now when there is no time left, it something it seems: ""The cat, everything will be as it should be." """ I do not want in school."" - you hear in reply. Also you understand, he does not trust yours ""everything will be as it should be"", he is sure on all hundred that nothing will be as it should be, he is concerned and strongly is anxious. The alarm prevents it to leave the house. The alarm cramps a stomach and is given by a treacherous weak point in legs. You know that if drag it by force, it will only be worse. But what else it is possible to tell your disturbing child now when panic rolls on him again?
2. Seat him on a sofa, sit down nearby, embrace and tell: ""I with you. You in safety."" This phrase can support better, than an inspired monologue and if you do not know what to tell, begin with it.
3. Tell me what you feel. What are you afraid of? Tell me about it. Here all options will approach. But asking a similar question, limit time. For example, let's talk about your concern 10 minutes. Also listen. Without interrupting. Do not try to correct, correct, prompt the decision.
4. Show me as your concern is big. Suggest the child to show the size of his alarm by means of hands (it can part hands in the parties so as far as will consider necessary) or by means of the simple drawing. Draw on the sheet of paper three circles - big, average and small. Let the child will choose an alarm circle by the size.
5. What do you want to tell the concern? Explain to the child that the alarm is something like the bug itching over an ear who constantly reminds that it is necessary to be anxious. But be able to banish your child of this bug. For example, let he will stay the little boss and will order to an annoying bug to clean up away. Set an example. At the same time you speak some ridiculous or silly tone. Repeat a phrase loudly and quietly.
6. Can you draw the alarm? What not always manages to be described words can be represented on paper by means of pieces of chalk, paints, pencils or the simple pen. When the child finishes, look at the drawing. If you see any outstanding lines, surely note them. For example, in the drawing the unclear animal with six legs flaunts. Tell, ""Oh, yes it has six legs. As there is a lot of."" Or in the drawing there is a lot of yellow. Tell, ""Ooh, you and here almost everything yellow color.""
7. Let's think up a happy end. Children often worry in some certain occasions therefore they imagine the course of events which plunges them into panic. Your task is to help the child to see all possible exits from the situations frightening them. Help it to invent a story, and here the ending is composed let by him. It can be ridiculous or silly, endings there can be a set, but at least one has to be realistic and instill confidence in your child.
8. And what else you know about...? Substitute fear of your child instead of dots. For example, he is afraid to answer at a board. Or to worry concerning upcoming game in a square on physical education. Is afraid to seem the weakling. He can are afraid of bees, the elevator, dogs and everything, anything. Conduct together with it a small research. Arm with books, look for information on the Internet. Knowledge can help to cope with concern.
9. Now I will make a deep breath. If your child is concerned so, as does not want to listen to you, show him as you resort to the strategy of calm. Be a living example. Let it look at you. Embrace it. Let him hear and feels how you breathe. He will begin to breathe together with you and will calm down.
10. It is very terrible and... Recognize fear of the child. Show it that his alarm and concern mean to you. That you trust it and hear it. After ""also"" add something encouraging and giving hope. ""It is very terrible, and you already coped with it earlier." """... and you have a plan."", ""... and you in safety.""
11. How to help you? Really, do not rush to the aid. At first ask that is wanted from you by the child and as you can help him.
12. This feeling will pass. It is better to repeat this phrase together. Really, all feelings, even the strongest, pass. The alarm and concern seem infinite and painful, but also to them the end comes. Normally it is abnormal to feel in a frightening situation.