The choice of future spouse – business very serious and very difficult. Each woman shows the requirements to "the candidate for husbands". If she intends to get children, will interest her by all means whether the elect possesses a fatherly instinct.
It is possible to tell with confidence that any man as such instinct does not exist in the nature does not possess a fatherly instinct. At some highest animals, for example, at gorillas, the male really cares for a female during bringing up of cubs – but for a female. Cubs per se for it do not exist, the female will die – the male will not begin to care for them. The person has no fatherly instinct and.
Even if to present as philosophical assumption that the man can have a certain analog of a maternal instinct, define its existence or absence it would be possible only after the child's birth. Contrary to popular belief, even at women the maternal instinct cannot affect at all desire to have children, it begins to work only after contact with the been born child. The instinct for as which "trigger" serves the abstract image of the child which is not even in a womb yet could not be created during evolution, abstract thinking is too young for this purpose, it any animal, except the person does not possess.
Desire or unwillingness to get children, readiness or unavailability to become parents is defined not by instincts, and education, the system of values, social installations, value orientations. To learn what vital reference points of future partner in life, certainly, it is possible and it is necessary.
The man who is brought up on the "idol of family" type will be not a father, but "the second child" of the wife.
A lot of things depend on in what family the man, therefore, acquaintance to future relatives surely was brought up. If he grew without father, it can turn out that it is not ready to accept this social role. The infantile man whom both parents, and grandmothers, and grandfathers "carried all life on hands" will be it is unlikely ready to become a father. Indirect sign of such education is the household helplessness: even soup to itself cannot independently warm. It is fine if the man has brothers or sisters, especially younger and with a big difference age, then probability is high that he already managed to gain some qualities of future parent. It is useful to visit together with future elect friends and relatives who have children and to watch how the man communicates with kids. If it is obvious that children cause in him irritation, rejection, you should not convince yourself that it is other people's children, and he will better treat the – for the man there is no special difference between personal and others' children.
If the man, having learned about possible pregnancy of the woman, led the conversation on abortion, it is better to suspend relations with it at once: the reliable partner in life it will not become.
If between the man and the woman the intimate proximity already took place, it is possible to allow a small lie, having reported about suspicion on pregnancy (not each suspicion is confirmed) and to look at reaction of the beloved. If the man apprehends this message as misfortune, most likely, he does not intend to have children. The one who is focused on paternity even in the presence of difficult material and financial circumstances will begin to think at once that it is possible to undertake – to rent apartment, to get the second job, etc. If the man made a proposal of marriage, and the woman agreed, will not be superfluous to discuss with him in clear how many children are supposed to have what to do in case of unplanned pregnancy, detection of pre-natal pathology, the disabled child's birth. Perhaps, such talk seems insufficiently romantic for prewedding time, but it is better to cancel a wedding in time, than to suffer all life.