Very often parents of the groom or the bride, trying to remove a part of cares from future young family, actively try to participate in process of preparation for a wedding and to help councils. However time of opinion of the senior generation in the questions concerning the forthcoming celebration significantly disperse from ideas of future husband and wife of how there has to take place their personal holiday.
Sometimes young people, being afraid to offend parents, hesitate to tell them that the help from outside is not required directly. Especially often so it happens when mother and the father of some one party actively try to participate in process of preparation of future wedding. In such cases the bride is afraid to spoil the relations with future father-in-law and the mother-in-law, and the groom – with the mother-in-law and the father-in-law. As a result all are dissatisfied, but persistently are silent.
How not to offend parents?
Not to offend parents and it is polite to explain to them that their participation in the organization of a wedding is not required, for a start young people need to talk seriously on this subject among themselves and to decide what in councils and behavior of parents does not suit them. In this conversation it is worth deciding also on what affairs they after all can charge to parents that those at least somehow could take part in preparation.
It is possible to entrust mother registration and the order of wedding invitations or baking of a loaf, and to the father – distribution of guests at the holiday table and control of decoration of the hall. So parents will be attracted to common cause, but at the same time the solution of the main issues (choice of the venue of a banquet, the photographer, host and a route of wedding walk) will remain for young people. At such situation of offense from seniors should not be.
How to tell them about the decision?
The next stage – a direct conversation with parents. If only one party actively interferes with preparation for a wedding, it is better to speak with seniors to that from young people who are it close. With parents of the bride it is better for most future to communicate newly married, and with mother and the father from the men's party – to the groom. It will be much simpler to parents to listen and understand own child, but not his elect or the darling. If parents and that, and other party seek to participate in preparation, then it will be best of all to gather together behind a family dinner or a lunch and to frankly discuss all disputed issues. The main thing is to explain to parents that you appreciate and respect their opinion in any questions, but after all the wedding is your personal holiday and the only day in life which you would like to spend exactly as you conceived. Ask parents to remember how there took place their wedding celebration whether also everything then passed as they wanted. Perhaps, they will remember how then their parents interfered with preparation, and realize, it is how important that everything this day passed as young people want it. Only then a holiday it will become valid in the unforgettable and joyful afternoon for the groom and the bride.