How to make so that the husband helped with child care from the first day of life

How to make so that the husband helped with child care from the first day of life

Our society is arranged so that only mom has to look after the newborn child by definition, and dad at the initial stage stands aside. Actually it is a big mistake which is made by nearly all couples.

It is necessary to accustom dad to that he helped from the very first days gradually. It is recommended to do it accurately, without reproaches and complaints as appearance of the child is for the man not only a happy event, but also a certain shock. During this period it is overflowed by emotions which vary for joy, love and delight to dispassionateness and even coldness.

That the husband helped with education, it is necessary to explain to him that without it it is difficult to you to cope with the pulled hard loading and you need rest. But at the same time do not forget that the husband is also tired, and it is necessary to work not with complaints and reproaches, and exclusively caress. Also it is not necessary to dump on him at once everything that is connected with care for the kid as first men are afraid to take the child on hands because of his fragility and diminutiveness.

One more problem which can arise is that all attention from relatives and friends is given to mom and the child, and dad stands aside. At the same time very often the man is pushed away from the child by mothers or grandmothers phrases which force it to doubt the abilities: "you can drop it", "you can soil it", "you came from the street and can infect it". Agree, the enthusiasm from it will not increase, and the man will prefer to withdraw. After that it is not necessary neither to be surprised, nor to complain that the husband does not help with the child – you do not accept the help.

That the husband began to help, it is not necessary to dump on him "dirty" affairs, such as change of a diaper at once, it is necessary to begin with pleasant procedures – walks with the kid, bathing, a lullaby before going to bed. Especially as the man works and is tired and after return home wants to have a rest a little before the future day of work, but not to get to new work. One more mistake which is often made by women is that after the man began to take active part in care for the newborn, women leave the child with dad alone at several o'clock. And at this time there can be something what mothers got used to and it will not surprise them and will not frighten, and for dad it will become the real shock. Increase time of the absence gradually. If the man makes mistakes, do not abuse him at all, do not criticize his action, and show as as it does incorrectly, if necessary accompany it with a joke. The criticism in anybody does not cause enthusiasm and only pushes away. Participation of dad should not be limited only to leaving, it also has to bring up the child, and all aspects of education have to be discussed in advance. Especially it concerns what it will be possible to do to the child and what is impossible that in the future there were no disputes at his presence. Disputes will lead to the fact that the man will just refuse education and will shift this duty to you, and it is not correct at all as both parents have to have positive impact on personal development. In conclusion it would be desirable to tell that process of familiarizing of dad with leaving and education of the child has to be gradual, with use of caress and not reproaches, complaints and hysterics at all. Only in this case you reach harmony and do not do much harm to either the child, or the family relations.

Author: «MirrorInfo» Dream Team