Still some parents in all seriousness consider slaps one of education methods, and very effective. Really, having slapped the child several times "for good reason", it is possible to achieve that it, perhaps, will cease to make what parents consider wrong – supporters of "physical methods of influence" so think. Actually, slapping the child, adults train him not in at all what would like for them.
It is possible to tell itself as much as long that the easy slap will do only good to the child that so "will better reach it" that can be done and that it is impossible. Actually, it no more than self-deception.
In fact the slap is a blow, and any blow is a violence. The adult applies a method of violence over a being obviously weaker, not capable to be protected and answer it with the same coin.
Inherently a slap or blow – a widespread method of training. "Bringing up" the child thus, you develop at him a conditioned reflex: the correct course – encouragement (caress, a praise), wrong – pain. Only about encouragement parents – supporters of similar methods often forget, and about punishment – never. Thus, the method of "carrot and stick" turns into a method of "whip".
What lead physical punishments to
Perhaps, the child who is regularly "brought up" thus eventually will begin to arrive as that is wanted by parents. But not because, what he understood why it needs to be done. Will move him fear of punishment, he will be afraid to make something wrong, to be afraid to cause anger of parents, so, will begin to be afraid and their. At such relations there cannot be a speech about mutual trust, close relations in family. Interactions of the adult and the child will remind rather a game in the criminal and the police officer: "police officer" (i.e. the parent) tries to monitor any manifestation of "the wrong behavior" and to punish, and "criminal" (i.e. the child) thinks of that, kind of polovchy to hide "crimes" that "police officer" did not guess it. Thus, the maturing person learns to deceive, use cunning, becomes reserved and closed in the relations with seniors. The few parents would like to achieve similar effect, but they receive it, only allowing themselves to apply physical methods of influence to the child.
What should I do?
Having understood all hopelessness of such "education", parents should ceasing to deceive themselves, claiming that slaps "are useful" that a slap – the phenomenon harmless and natural that an easy slap and "beating" - absolutely different things. It is necessary to forbid itself to beat the child. Instead of slaps to try to explain to the kid again and again why any given act is bad what it can lead to and how to arrive to avoid unpleasant consequences. The child is a little person, so, a being not less reasonable, than the adult. Yes, he has less practical experience, and a task of the careful adult to share with it the vital wisdom, but not to admit own pedagogical powerlessness, raising against the child a hand.