As practice shows, the majority of human complexes, problems with a self-assessment and other unpleasant items are pawned in the childhood. It is known, it seems, by all. But not all think that put all these problems in the head not someone there, and our parents. No, of course, we receive certain things at communication with peers and other people. But basic installations appear in the head parental efforts.
Let's review couple of examples. There are we quietly down the street and see how young mom shouts at the child. Shouts terribly, splashes saliva. What it was made by the kid? He stumbled and soiled trousers. That is you understand, a problem minimum. And here mummy so does not think. She shouts approximately such theses: "eternally you soil everything", "normal children so do not behave" and other. Here think. By the own words it put the following in a weak brain: "there are normal people, and there are I, abnormal". Everything, the child has a complex!
But it can develop and in a different way. Other mother of the child loves and preserves. She stands with him in a queue. And he with boredom kicks ahead of the standing person. Let's say it you. You try to explain it to mother that you do not like kicks at all, and in general, the child needs to be brought up. In reply you hear a squall of angry speeches, in the spirit of: "as you can, same the child". And everything, the kid will grow up in the uniform boor and the egoist with high self-esteem.
And all this not just rough examples. If you rummage in memory, then will find out that you witnessed similar scenes. With children in general a lot of things can be made. It is possible to depreciate their advantages, to compare to others, not to pay attention or, on the contrary, excessively to sponsor … Osho has such phrase where Adam became the person when told God "no". And it is the correct thought. The person then becomes the person when begins to feel the internal borders and to protect them. The child so is not able. He is forced to suffer and be deformed as a result of gross violations of its limits. That is, this such violence over children, only psychological.
What to do if your parents did not read clever books on education and yet put to you in the head something wrong? Well, first, not to complain. Because if you will begin to get rid of all responsibility on parents, a pier they bad, then the problem will not be solved in any way. So it is necessary to understand the problem and to solve it. Work on yourself.