Temptation to change close people sometimes it is rather big. But here you are expected by a set of various difficulties, and most important of them – unwillingness of the person to meet your expectations. You should not forget that each person is individual and has the right to live as wants. In most cases, he will be able to change, only if wants it.
Instruction
1. Analyze what does not suit you in your close people, for example, in your second half? What do you want to change in him or her? Whether what you are going to fight against is actually a shortcoming? For example, your husband too late goes to bed, sits up with the book or in front of the TV. You are going to eradicate this "shortcoming", without taking into account that such behavior – physiological feature of an organism. What will it lead to? Try to predict result in advance. Most likely, you will just spoil the relations with your darling, demanding from him unnatural to his nature of behavior.
2. If all of you decided to change your relatives, think how you are going to act? By numerous threats, arrangements, hysterics? Or cunning, creating the situations helping "vospituyemy" to think of need of urgent changes in the character, a way of life, etc. The first way is too heavy and unjustified – having spent the mass of forces and nerves, you, most likely, will not be glad to any more received result even if after all you will achieve it.
3. Consider that people do not love the open pressure upon themselves therefore you will hardly be able to change the person to the best, constantly giving it orders and charging extra edifications. The second way is more acceptable. But what techniques should be chosen what situations to create that they conceived due influence? It depends on each case.
4. Remember that there are also obvious defects with which it is necessary to struggle, for example, an excessive drinking habit. But there are also such "shortcomings" which are inconvenient only to you therefore think three times of whether really it is necessary to fight against them. Having decided to re-educate the person only in order that to you was more comfortable to live or communicate with him, you can achieve absolutely opposite result. Object of your education can just not agree with your point of view concerning the shortcomings and will actively assert the right to be oneself.
5. If you love the relatives, try to accept their such what they are, without trying to correct something in their character. Certainly, it is possible to advise too quick-tempered person to work over the emotions, too hypochondriac and indecisive – to become more courageous and more self-assured, etc. But it is worth understanding that the adult has to be engaged in work on himself, has to realize need of changes in own character, you can only accurately point to them.
6. Pay attention to yourself – perhaps before undertaking re-education of your relatives, you should work over shortcomings of own character? Ideal people do not exist. Set the relatives an example of how it is possible to self-improve and to independently eradicate all problem traits of character.