Mutual understanding is one of the main components of successful and comfortable human communication. Without it it is almost impossible to construct family, to find true friends and it is even simple to establish good relations at work. Knowledge of the origins of mutual understanding – an important step on the way to the successful relations.
Instruction
1. Psychologists define the term "mutual understanding" as such way of human relations or groups of people at which in the maximum degree views, thoughts and emotions of all parties are realized and taken into account. In practice it means, for example, that both spouses accept the point of view of each other with the same gravity, as well as own. Mutual understanding formation, as a rule, takes place in several stages.
2. At first people perceive appearance of each other. In this case it is not only about beauty or clothes, all complex of external characteristics is realized. The fact is that different people perceive information on different channels and if for someone visual data have paramount value, then to someone only a sound part is important, and some in general have enough smells and touches. Anyway, meeting someone, people perceive primary information, and already then begin to process it.
3. The next important stage in development of mutual understanding is an association of the obtained information with own experience. On the basis of the observations the people make the assumptions of what traits of character of the new acquaintances can be characteristic of such manner of the speech, selection of color combinations in clothes, a timbre of a voice, perfume type and so on. It is natural that these assumptions can be wrong, to it it is necessary to be ready as there are no rules without any exception. On the basis of these assumptions the people build certain versions about motives and the reasons of any given acts of the vis-a-vis that eventually and leads to relative understanding of the identity of other person. Of course, it is necessary for emergence of mutual understanding that this process was mutual.
4. It is possible to reach mutual understanding only by the maximum knowledge of the identity of the partner, and all people involved in communication have to have this desire. To learn to understand others, try to pay them more attention, to put itself on their place more often, try not just to take for granted words and acts, but also to explain their motives. Keep in mind that oral speech – only one of instruments of information transfer, and is still a mimicry, intonations, gestures, tonality. All these channels are not less important, than directly words which you hear.
5. Do not forget that all your efforts on recognition of other person can be vain if your object is not interested in equal development of your relations. If you understand that to you not to reach mutual understanding with this person because it simply is not interesting to it, do not spend time and forces in vain – most likely, it will lead to disappointment.