Very often happens that people leave. As it is possible to make it beautifully and to minimize offenses — we will try to understand this question.
How to leave the girl who loves: painless way
Way of painless parting per se just does not exist if really there were serious relations, but not just an affair. Anyway to the girl it will be sore, and will hardly do without offenses. However, when parting it is possible to remain the gentleman and as much as possible to soften blow for the lady.
Gentleman's conversation
The best way is to tell about everything honestly and directly. So you have more chances to remain the decent person in her eyes.
But to achieve desirable result, it is necessary to meet some conditions:
- It is necessary to inform it of the parting reason — if, of course, you realize it also it rather weighty (that happens not always).
- Presenting such information, it is necessary to soften blow, having told, for example, that she is a wonderful girl, but you are with it absolutely different and it is hardly worth continuing such relations.
- It is necessary to say about the decision directly and surely that it was clear that the final decision, and at it did not arise illusions about an opportunity everything to correct.
- It is impossible to bring a conversation to scandal. If the woman tries to provoke it, then it is necessary to stop communication and to postpone a conversation, but not too to tighten it in time.
Tactics of pikaper
If the gentlemen's way of parting means honesty and straightforwardness, then pikapersky is rather method of cunning and ability to manipulate. Initially the purpose of the pickup is a training in methods of acquaintance and seduction. However pikapersky skills can be used also when parting.
Such way not always can do to the young man who specially did not study it. But simple councils can be tried also to the beginner. For example, not to offend the girl, it is necessary to make so that she became the initiator of parting. For this purpose it is necessary to bring her to a thought that you it are not worthy that it is better than you. And let you, perhaps, will be at the best not, but the gap will be its decision, and at least in it it will be easier for it.
Read also how to forget the girl whom you love, after parting.
How to leave the girl whom you love
In life there are different situations, and sometimes it is necessary to break off the relations with darlings for some reason. Everything when feelings already cooled down is much simpler to stop. It is more difficult to make it when still you love. The love is strong emotions and experiences which will power cannot almost be stopped. But, as well as any feeling, it demands constant feed, and having been left without it — gradually dies away. Each person endures this period in own way, and it is impossible to make unambiguous recommendations for all.
However, it is possible to use several councils:
- Whenever possible it is necessary to stop any contacts and meetings. It will help to cope quicker with emotions, without feeding them with communication. Experiences will not disappear at once anywhere, and it is normal. Sincere wounds as well as corporal, heal gradually.
- It is necessary to be engaged in something that will demand your energy and time. It can be hobby (sport, dances, travel) or work.
- The girl somewhat satisfied emotional, household and sexual requirements therefore it is necessary to think up as it is possible to compensate these requirements.
- It is not necessary to look for replacement of the former passion at once. At first experiences concerning parting can create an uncomfortable situation both for the man, and for the new girl. Let there will pass a certain period before the new relations begin.
Important! If difficult most to cope with a difficult life situation, then it is possible to ask for the help the psychologist. He will make individual recommendations and will help to overcome the arisen problems.
As it is not necessary to leave
Often men, having made the decision on break in relations, resort to the wrong tactics. Let's sort options which are undesirable for using in such situations.
To evaporate
The option leave, without saying goodbye is usually used by coward men when they lack courage to say directly all to the woman. Act for various reasons this way: someone is afraid, someone is afraid of a hysterics and scandal, and some just do not want to spoil to themselves nerves and it is vain to spend time. But there is nothing worse than uncertainty. In that case not all understand at once what occurs, and the girl can even decide that something happened to darling.
Women at such way of parting get a severe psychological trauma, but also, this negative experience can force it to doubt further all men. Also the option at which she will revenge not only the offender, but also all subsequent partners is not excluded.
Such way is simplest for the initiator of a gap, but is painful for this purpose who is thrown. Therefore it is necessary to call or send at least the small text on SMS in which to report about the decision.
Whether we advise the relations at distance are possible to esteem.
To row
Is known to all the fact that constant quarrels and scandals destroy the relations. Men often use it to provoke the girl and to initiate a gap according to her decision. Constantly carping at trifles or rowing for any reason, it is possible to force the lady most to break off the relations. And if she is too patient, then it is possible to call the scandalous atmosphere the parting reason.
This way as well as disappearance without explanations, shows the man not from the best side. In such situation not to avoid negative reaction from the girl with all that it implies.
To brake
Often guys, having decided to leave, begin to avoid meetings, do not answer the phone calls and think out the different reasons to communicate less. At first sight can seem that if the guy ceases to show an initiative and will drop everything, then the girl will understand everything and the relations without problems will end. But it is deceptive prospect. Advantage is only that everything will gradually occur and the gap will not be unexpected, that is on coldness and indifference of the partner the girl gradually will understand to what everything goes.
Such succession of events will exhaust both parties morally. And the girl will definitely not have positive memories of this man and his act. So it is impossible to call such option good in any way, and it is desirable not to use it.
Whether you know? It is statistically proved that couples which are getting acquainted in stressful situations are stronger, than those which start acquaintance in romantic atmosphere.
Councils for the correct parting
At break in relations to avoid offenses, quarrels and charges seldom it is possible. As it is correct to throw the companion to minimize negative emotions — we will sort possible options.
To talk in essence
The truthful essential conversation always bribes. It will help the young man to keep, at least, about itself(himself) a good impression. Even if in the beginning the girl will not understand it, then over time she will estimate such act. It is necessary not just to tell the truth, but also to be at the correct loss for words and actions.
There is a number of advice which will help in it:
- If there is a good reason for parting, then it is necessary to sound it. But it is necessary to be ready to what to the woman often happens to spit on all reasons. For her first of all the fact of a gap matters and if she is not ready for parting, then no arguments will help.
- It is impossible to accuse the girl at all even if you consider that she really is guilty of something.
- It is not necessary to justify itself. It is necessary to behave adequately.
- Capture of fault on itself will be a men's act. It is possible to tell that the most part of fault in parting lies on you.
- It is impossible to raise the voice and to pass to shout. Do not row and do not go to the mat — everything will only be aggravated with it.
- You should not mumble or beat around the bush. It is necessary to report about the decision firmly.
- The woman cannot give a reason for illusions about possible extension of the relations, otherwise she will try to correct something, and it can drag on for a long time. If solved, then chop off all ends. At first friends you will hardly remain, but after certain time also such option is possible.
- If the conversation when parting passes into a quarrel, then the man just should be developed and leave, having told that the meeting will take place when the girl calms down.
At break in relations it is necessary to use phrases, similar to this: It was difficult to me to decide on it, and I very much regret, but I think that for us two it will be better to stop our relations. Or, for example, such: We are different people and we have no happy future therefore to each of us it will be better with someone for others.
To hold a distance
At the last meeting very painfully and hard happens also that, and other party. Therefore the guy can have a temptation to console the former half or to embrace it. So even advise to do some experts. But such behavior can give to the girl hope that not all ended and something can be corrected. So you should not behave so if there is already a weighed and firm decision to stop any communication.
At a meeting it is necessary to keep a distance. It is better to plan a conversation in public, but not too crowded place, for example, the park or cafe. At strangers it is simpler to constrain emotions and to avoid quarrels and hysterics.
Whether you know? Stains most often fall on the fifth year of joint life, and after eight years of marriage of the relation gain stability.
To leave without return
Sometimes happens so that after parting of couple keep the friendly relations, but it is rather an exception, than the rule. If left, then it is not necessary to meet or return — the loving girl can apprehend it as a signal to renewal of relations. And if you do not need it, then there is no need to give a false reason as by the following parting everything will be much more difficult. And the impression about you will remain as about the villain who uses the poor woman.
It is also not necessary to make promises to help if it needs something if you are not going to do it. It can also give vain hope to it. Having weighed and having made the final decision, execute it up to the end and do not trifle with affections of others, installing deceptive illusions.
What to do after parting?
After a break with the girl it is worth filling the formed gap with something essential.
If not enough loading at work also remains a lot more free time, then it is possible to try such options:
- The sport — excellent means which not only will take time but also will absorb a heap of energy. It is possible to visit gym and to swing muscles, to ride a bike, to float in the river or the pool, or to think up the options. Such pastime not only will affect health positively, but also will improve mood.
- Favourite hobby. Perhaps, before for it there was not enough time at all, and you so like to play the guitar, to catch fish, to draw or be engaged still in something. Now just time to remember the hobby and to be engaged in it at full capacity.
- For some time can distract computer games is a heap of adrenaline and passion. But be not overzealous not to become dependent on them and not to get one more problem.
- It is not necessary to avoid friends and acquaintances. Communicate and meet more. You go to parties, office parties, participate in sorties and campaigns. It not only will bring positive emotions, but also the circle of acquaintances will expand. Thus it is even possible to get acquainted with the new passion.
- Communication in social networks will also be useful. But it is not necessary to spend all free time sitting near the computer. Everything has to be moderately.
- Bring to yourself the pet. Care of the living being will engross your attention and time, will distract from gloomy thoughts.
It is possible to list still a heap of options, but it is also necessary to tell what should not be done in such situation:
- to stay in proud loneliness;
- it is unreasonable to absorb alcoholic drinks;
- to arrange meetings and dismantling with former;
- to suffer too long.
Important! After parting it is necessary to understand that the grief arises generally because of loss of unfulfilled hope (for example, weddings). But it is also necessary to understand that many other prospects are in the future offered. Who knows, can after defeat in love good luck will wait for you in business.
Perhaps, you will take our advice or will think up the options. Anyway it is necessary to remember that in life there are no desperate situations — it is fine and proceeds. Therefore progress to you and only positive experiences.