Many women in love with married men are inclined to deceive themselves that he loves them and these feelings cannot be broken off. But over time the woman begins to feel unfortunate and more often thinks of the termination of these relations. In this article the main reasons for which it is necessary to finish the affair with the banded man, the instruction how it is correct to leave it, and the councils allowing to endure easier a gap are listed.
Why it is necessary to stop the relations
The married man can infinitely repeat to you that he is ready to throw the wife for the sake of you. But at the same time he always has circumstances preventing it to make it — the small child, material difficulties, a disease of the spouse or still something.
If you doubt whether it is worth stopping your relations now, pay attention to the main reasons explaining why you need to throw this person:
- Low interest of men who can desert the family for the sake of the mistress. It is heavy to it to refuse the adjusted family life, to leave the children and the wife even if he ceased to love the spouse long ago. Even if he makes up the mind to this step and leaves to you, then again comes back to 50% of cases to the wife after a while, and you remain as the mistress again or forever lose it.
- For the married man of the relation with the mistress is an opportunity to have a rest from family life and cares. Do you surround it with love, trying to win and get to fall in love, but what will be if he deserts family and will remain with you? In this case your joint life will consist of usual household trifles therefore quickly will bore it.
- The married man deceives you. He does not seek to leave family for the sake of you and after each meeting with you comes back to the wife. Unless you will be able to trust completely the person who is capable of such double deception?
- After intimate proximity with you he comes back to the wife and goes with it to one bed. Even if he convinces you that stopped loving the spouse and does not enter with her intimate proximity — it seldom turns out to be true. Any man feels pleasure that it is wished at once by two women, and you in such situation feel jealousy and offense.
- It is heavy to married man to refuse a part of property which he acquired together with the wife. In case of a divorce it should share with the spouse the apartment, the car, the dacha and other things which did his life in marriage comfortable. After that he should equip from scratch the convenient life together with you, spending for it the forces and money therefore most of men do not agree to a lawful divorce with the spouse.
- Married men often bring mistresses for the purpose of strengthening of own marriage. After the meeting with you it can have sense of guilt in relation to the wife and tries to get rid of it, showing it an affection in confirmation of the love. The wife heartily welcomes such behavior of the spouse and tries to surround it with a bigger care therefore their marriage prospers, and you remain only as the mistress.
- Meeting the married man, you lose an opportunity to get acquainted with the free man who will be really ready to start with you a family. In the relations with the married gentleman you are usually deprived of an opportunity to spend with him days off and holidays, to give birth to joint children and to visit with two of them friends. It does your relations defective and causes feeling of loneliness when he comes back to family.
Whether you know? Women usually change the partner for the sake of the emotional satisfaction, and men look for the mistress for a change of the sexual life.
As it is correct to leave the man whom you love
Emotions and sincere warm feelings to the married man can prevent you to assess soberly a situation, but over time you will understand that these relations need to be stopped. To strengthen the confidence in need of a gap, it is necessary to assess objectively arisen situation and to make changes to the behavior. It is necessary to tell about the decision to the man directly, but if you at the same time do not want to tread on painfully corns of darling, then when parting it will be required to show sensitivity, tranquility and goodwill.
It is sober to look at a situation
Despite strong sincere attachment, you need to try to assess really arisen situation. It will help to be claimed with the decision to break up finally with darling and to begin to build own life so that to become happy.
Whether you know? In 60% of cases of the man which fool around find the mistress in a circle of fellow workers.
Soberly to look at your relations with the married man, it is recommended to follow such advice:
- at each meeting think that you receive from the man in exchange — perhaps, to you well together, but upon he deprives of you an opportunity to start the family;
- put yourself to the place of his deceived wife — kind of it to her belonged, but to any woman will be to learn unpleasantly and painfully about incorrectness of the husband;
- realize that it is not going to change anything — if after your meetings the man comes back to the wife, means is not ready to throw her and to start a family with you;
- you say to yourself that you the beautiful and self-sufficient woman — it will help to understand that you in vain waste time for the relations with the married person instead of building true happiness;
- tell yourself that you meet the deceiver of women — in this case, he deceives the wife and you, understanding of this fact will be unpleasant to you and over time you will cease to feel the former joy of your meetings.
To change the behavior
If you cannot break off the relation at once, then it can be done gradually. Not each woman can tell firmly at once to the beloved that they need to leave even if she well realizes need of this step. To make a rupture of your relations less painful, it is possible to make changes to the behavior:
- Reduce the number of appointments with it — you should not give it all the free time, spend it for occupations yourself or meetings with friends. So you will understand that you have something to do and without it.
- Begin to move away from it — tell about the feelings and thoughts less, do not ask on how its affairs and that disturbs him, you become closed and silent.
- Look for shortcomings of his behavior and character — look narrowly at it more attentively and repeat to yourself what in it irritates you. It will help you to understand that this person not ideal and will facilitate parting.
- Become more exacting and whimsical — you ask to find for you more time, make scandals, accuse that he loves you less, than the wife. Such behavior can push the man it will be a little easier to become the initiator of a rupture of your relations and to you.
- Look narrowly at free men who surround you — be at parties and meet unmarried men to understand that life gives you the mass of opportunities to meet the true happiness and to start a full-fledged family.
It is opened to tell about parting
If you love the man, then openly to tell him about parting will be difficult. But it is the fastest way to stop your relations not to torment each other.
Important! Do not try to offend or offend the married man during parting — it will inevitably force it to suffer, and you will feel the guilt that you trod on its corns.
Here several councils how it is correct to say to the married man that you want to leave it forever:
- It is necessary to declare the decision to stop the relations surely and quietly — if the man notices your uncertain tone, then will try to overpersuade you and you can change the mind. In this case your parting will drag on and will bring both of you many sufferings.
- It is impossible to cry and say to him that you were tired of the status of the mistress and you want full-fledged family life — the man will go for deception and will try to convince you that will leave the wife soon. To resist its promises it will be difficult and you can not have enough courage to leave.
- If he apprehended your words quietly, then at once leave and do not delay your farewell — the man has to understand that you really want from it to leave, and a long valedictory and tears will make your gap more difficult for both of you.
- If you love the man and do not want to tread on his corns, then keep benevolent and polite tone — quietly explain to him that parting is the best option for both of you. Tell that now he completely will be able to devote himself to the family, and you will look for the person with whom you will be able to start an own family.
What is felt by the married man at the time of parting
Married men suffer after parting with the mistress too. The longer its relations with it proceeded, the heavier to it to get over a gap.
Learn that good and that bad in the relations with the married man.
The main stages through which there goes a married man after parting with the mistress are listed below.
- He does not realize the incident, hopes that it is just another quarrel and you will surely return to it.
- Having realized loss, the man begins to be angry with himself and all people around for the fact that he could not hold you.
- The man convinces himself that all of you equally long do not sustain without him and will surely return, it is necessary to let you time know it only.
- When he understands that your relations will not renew any more, is depressed and feels indifference to everything around.
- After a while after a rupture of your relations the man usually manages to get it together and to revise the vital plans — he can devote completely himself to family or be engaged in search of the new mistress.
How to endure parting
At first after a gap you can have huge desire to renew your relations with the married man whom you love. This period the heaviest, but you have to show firmness and not give in to emotions. To distract from sad thoughts, it is necessary to take with something the free time and to try to remember less often your novel. Each woman herself chooses for herself a way of actions which best of all helps it to cope with the feelings and to endure parting. Some women consider that it is necessary to switch completely to other occupations or to be away on vacation, others find support among close people, and to someone can be rather simple to stay alone with the thoughts and to completely be given to sad emotions.
To avoid meetings and a talk
Many women after parting with the married man have insuperable desire though for a while to meet it or to speak by phone. Sometimes and the man can make attempts to return you, trying to meet you and to renew your relations. But it is impossible to afford any talk and meetings with it, otherwise your emotions can get the best of reason and you will appear as the mistress again.
Whether you know? After treason the man often becomes hyper sexy in a bed with the wife — after intimate proximity with other woman in him the sex drive wakens.
Here several councils how to avoid society of the married man which you left:
- remove its number from the list of contacts in the phone even if you know it by heart not to encounter it and to get rid of temptation to call;
- it is recommended to replace the phone number that the man did not bother you with calls and messages;
- refuse visit of those places where you can meet it — the casual meeting for certain will be painful for both of you, and can seem to you that you hurried with parting;
- it is impossible to watch the favourite married man after parting — even if he will not see you, you will suffer even stronger and to have desire to return it;
- remove it from the list of the friends in social networks and block its messages — if you resolved to leave, then to talk to him there is no sense;
- ignore attempts of the man to meet you — if he comes to you home, then do not open a door and if he unexpectedly caught for you after work, then be at once developed and leave;
- if the man is very persistent and does not stop trying to return you, it is possible to live some time at the girlfriend or relatives that he did not know where to find you.
To discuss a problem with the loved one
Support of the friend or relative in such situation has a number of advantages:
- you will be able to be uttered and at once it will become easier for you;
- the loved one can give to you advice how it is better to endure parting;
- moral support of the friend will help to keep from temptation to renew the affair with the married man;
- joint pastime with the loved one will help you to feel not so strongly loneliness at first after parting.
To stay alone
Sometimes the best way to endure parting with the married man is to stay a little alone with the thoughts. In the first few days it will help you to give vent to that pain and sad emotions which overflow you after a gap.
Important! You should not be obsessed with loneliness and to become completely reserved. If you feel that you cannot cope with a problem independently, address the professional psychologist.
To facilitate soul and to endure parting, it is possible to perform such operations:
- you watch sad melodramas and listen to lyrical compositions — under them well to cry, and through tears there are also sad emotions therefore you will feel sense of relief;
- read on the Internet of history of the women having similar experience of parting — they will help to understand that your situation is not single and to cope with it quite really;
- touch all episodes of your novel in the memory do not come back to them any more — let this stage of your life will forever consign to the past;
- write to the thrown beloved the letter on the sheet of paper in which you express everything that you feel now, and then burn this letter — this psychological reception will allow you to express the emotions and to get rid of them forever.
To change scenery
Well change of a surrounding situation helps to distract from sad memoirs. Let in the life of change and dare to test new and pleasant impressions.
It is important! If you resolved to leave the married man, then do not give each other hope that you sometime again will be together — it will make parting more difficult.
It is possible to make it by means of such actions:
- it is possible to go to other city at least for couple of days — you will be able to see new interesting places, and being at distance from a subject of the sad memoirs, will feel sense of relief and will have a rest for the endured disorders;
- if your work means business trips, with pleasure agree to them — when you plunge into work and will be busy with working trips, will once remember parting with the married man;
- if you rent housing, then it is possible to move to other area — the new apartment will help to get rid of memories of the affair with the married man;
- try to stay at home less — visit friends, go to the cinema, be engaged in shopping not to sit within four walls and to take the time.
To find favourite business
To think less of parting, find to yourself hobby which will take your free time and will bring pleasant emotions. It will help to lift the self-assessment and to switch to a new kind of activity to which at you soul most of all lies.
To endure parting with the married man such steps can help:
- find a side job to the main work — it not only will take your free time, but also will improve financial position;
- participate in charity events — it will present pleasant emotions and will help you to feel necessary and useful;
- be engaged in self-improvement — you learn foreign languages, register in culinary lessons or courses of a make-up to expand the knowledge;
- find to yourself a hobby — it can be oriental dances, knitting, lessons of a vocal and anything;
- get a pet — he will always wait for you at home and will brighten up your loneliness in the evenings.
To control thoughts
The best way to forget about parting with the favourite married man — to think less of it. It is for this purpose recommended to get rid of all objects which remind you of the affair with him and as much as possible to fill the life with work and other occupations that there was no time left for sad memoirs.
Learn how to understand that the married man is in love with you.
To keep the thoughts under control, it is recommended to perform such operations:
- throw out all its things left at you after parting — they will cause painful memories about the beloved;
- get rid of all its gifts — you can present them to girlfriends, carry in a pawnshop or throw out;
- remove all your joint photos from the photo albums — the less you will see his face, the less often you will be visited by memories of your love;
- buy new bed linen — your former pillowcases and sheets will remind of how it was good to you with it in a bed;
- make houses shift, change wall-paper or furniture — in the updated dwelling it will be easier for you to say goodbye to last feelings and to begin a new vital stage.
Councils of psychologists
If you very strongly became attached to the married man, then at once it will be hard to forget him. On it time and all your endurance, especially will be required if the man tries to return you.
Whether you know? Usually the man does not fool around with unfamiliar women, preferring to choose only those whom well knows.
Several councils of psychologists are listed below how successfully to endure a rupture of such relations:
- Take the sheet of paper and write pluses and minuses of your novel to two columns — minuses for certain will turn out much more therefore this reception will strengthen your confidence in what all of you made correctly.
- If through short time after parting the man says that he files for a divorce with the wife, then you do not hurry to renew your relations. It can go for deception to return you and if your novel renews, then you turn into the mistress again, and he will only feed you with promises.
- Repeat to yourself that thanks to parting you did not become a razluchnitsa — having refused the married man, you kept his family and got rid of the shameful status of the mistress.
- Tell yourself that now you will be engaged in satisfaction of the desires — you do not need to indulge egoistical whims of the man using you for own joys any more. You should not sacrifice the youth for the sake of the one who does not appreciate you.
- Meet free men and you go out with them on dates — new emotions will help to forget about the affair with the married man and will accelerate your meeting with true happiness. But you should not rush with the head to a whirlpool of new passion at once, let your new relations develop gradually.
- Present that the man kept the promise, got divorced from wife and decided to start a family with you — whether you will be able to trust it, knowing how he deceived the last wife? There is no guarantee that you are not expected over time by the same fate.
Irrespective of the chosen way of parting with the married man, you will be able to get rid of these relations which bring you sufferings and to begin to arrange own life. And the practical advice listed in this article will help to make a break with the favourite married man less painful and will keep you from temptation to renew your relations with it.