Even the strongest relations sometimes crack. Usually it is more difficult to woman to put the end to such situations. As it is correct to break off the relations with the person if you have to it feelings, read below.
The reasons for parting there can be a set.
The main of them — lack of an opportunity to realize itself near the specific man as:
- only hotly valued woman;
- full-fledged unit of society;
- mother, etc.
Whether you know? By results of survey conducted in Britain, 42% of men begin to love less the women when those gain weight. The most interesting that the same objects of poll consider that excess weight at men is not a problem at all and if they recover, then the wife is obliged to love the husband as before, without making a complaint.
In the love relations there is no place to condemnation and humiliation. People love each other just like that.
There are several decisive factors which can push the woman to break in relations:
- she is lonely and does not feel support;
- it is not taken seriously, exposing in unattractive light before society;
- she does not feel desired;
- influence of insuperable life situations — the death of close people, crisis of middle age, dismissal from work, etc.;
- she got into a groove — all actions of the partner are predictable and there is no advance;
- the beloved changes it;
- the man commits illegal acts against the woman — psychological and physical abuse.
How without serious consequences to leave the man: recommendations of the psychologist
The first and basic rule when it is necessary to leave the man — to be an egoist. It means that it is necessary to work in the interests and not to feel sorry excessively for the partner. For the rest everything depends on specifics of the relations.
Read also as it is correct to throw the guy that did not take offense.
With the married man
By parting with the married man the truth needs to look in eyes. You can be at the mistress's position very long. If the man felt not comfortably in marriage, then would get divorced from wife prior to a meeting with you. It follows from this that he just uses you as a convenient thing.
If you cannot be solved on break in relations with the married man, try to look at it the wife's eyes. It is very far from an ideal. You should not collect behind it socks on all house, and then to wash or listen to his opposite snore night without a break. To meet the married man, means to see just beautiful wrapper.
Analyze possible options of the future with this person. Define what whether there is a wish to you and estimate the specific man is capable to meet these desires.
To stop the relations gradually
Try to nullify the relations gradually. Alienate the man from yourself. Do favorite thing or go to a travel.
How to tell about a gap it is worth thinking over in advance. If there is such need write the text at first on paper. Make the so-called action plan.
Explain to the partner softly that you cannot continue with him the relations. Be firm in the beliefs and do not try to invent pathos phrases. You tell only the truth. Do not accuse either yourself, or him, do not mention last offenses. The silliest phrase which can be given in such situation: It is not you, matter in me. You should not undertake even indirectly responsibility for the made step. 2 persons are always guilty of parting.
In a conversation it is necessary to spread out accurately everything on regiments. Appeal arguments which will open all minuses of these relations, without passing to personal qualities and an object.
Important! Prepare yourself morally for a conversation about parting as an object can react to this course in the most unexpected way. Think over several options of succession of events at once to be ready to hold blow and to insist on the, without giving in to arrangements and without being afraid of aggression of the opponent.
Not to be obsessed
Do not focus attention on parting. If difficult try to remember how lived prior to a meeting with this person, than were engaged as spent time. Then analyze future options without this person. Try to open for yourself new opportunities, without waste of time on the empty, weighing relations the mass of prospects will be offered you, including to marry and construct full-fledged family that the married man will not be able to guarantee to you.
To avoid meetings
Refuse completely meetings with this man. Right after the conversation about parting replace the phone number. Limit yourself in communication with mutual friends who can be a source of information on the subject.
With the lover
As a rule, the relations with the lover initially are under construction only on blind passion.
As a result the passion leaves and reefs begin to open:
- the person demands much more your time and attention to himself that is not always convenient, especially, if there are a husband and children;
- understanding comes that to cross out life with the husband for the sake of a fleeting intrigue, you are not ready.
To leave beautifully and not to offend the man, be at the correct loss for words and open for him the truth. Try to explain that these relations reached a deadlock and they can have no continuation a priori.
Not to change the decision
Do not give in on arrangements, shouts and threats. You have the right to choose independently that it is better for you. Nobody can violently force the woman to be the participant of the relations which do not bring her sincere satisfaction.
We recommend to esteem also how to reconcile with the guy after parting.
To find faults
If you had feelings to the lover, look in him for shortcomings. Think what in him is it that is not present in other man or your own husband.
To find replacement
Pay the attention to other male objects or concentrate on another matters.
With the beloved
Parting with the beloved quite difficult stage, but if the decision is made, it is necessary to go all the way.
To control the emotions
The most important factor defining success of conceived is self-checking. Get it together. It is necessary to realize and draw accurately a conclusion that it is only a step in a long vital ladder over which it is necessary to step. On this step your life will not end, and, on the contrary, on the way new prospects will appear.
Not to give in on arrangements
Leave no chance for it. Decided to leave — you leave, especially if deception from its party or humiliation became the reason of a gap. Having taken a step back, you will not manage to get out of network of the weighing relations.
It is important! If you fell a victim of domestic violence, then before such step, it is better to get support to the line of trust or appropriate authorities. You should not follow the tastes of the fear — any problems can be solved.
Not to leave innuendo
You speak about everything openly. The man and you, has to understand that it is a fat point at the end of the text. There is no more opportunity to return you. You do not say that in the future you can have relations. If to construct the union it did not turn out now, then it will be pursued by the same problems and in the future.
Not to agree to the last meeting
Right after the final conversation about a gap, refuse meetings, correspondence and communication in the telephone mode with it. Even if the subject tries to incline you to the last meeting, do not agree. If you had feelings, then from one its look and pleasant phrases your heart will thaw and everything will be again as earlier.
What to do if the man became the initiator of parting?
How to understand that the man wants to leave quite just on his behavior:
- he gives you time less and in most cases refuses your requests;
- looks for occasions to be less at home;
- he is irritable;
- often rushes groundless charges to your address;
- is not interested in your problems and he is indifferent to progress.
There are 2 solutions of a problem, depending on specifics of the relations:
- to try to correct a situation and to hold near itself as sometimes the coldness of the partner can be provoked by behavior of the woman;
- to release and forget it.
To find the reason in itself
Analyze the behavior for the last half a year of these relations. You do not hurry to accuse yourself of all mortal sins, but also do not attribute yourself huge merits. Talk to it frankly, learn what disturbs him.
To look for shortcomings of the beloved
Do not idealize an object. Such people just are not. Write its pluses and minuses to 2 columns. Analyze each plus attentively and try to turn it into minus.
To do favorite thing or career
On the one hand, the person needs love and care, but with another — the relations take away the lot of time and forces. It, as the second work. Having got rid of cargo of the relations, you will be able to do favorite thing or active advance on a career ladder.
Important! You look at break in relations from a positive side if you independently do not manage with these to cope — ask for the help relatives.
To reconcile to the termination of the relations
Accept the fact that the event already took place and release it. Be not engaged in self-flagellation — not to return the past.
That at heart it was not so sad, get rid of its things and a photo which remained with you. Make repair, change image. It will help to pass this vital stage quicker.
Councils of the psychologist
Several councils of the experienced psychologist, concerning break in relations with the man to whom there are feelings:
- Do not refuse prospects — communicate with people pleasant to you more and do not miss an opportunity to be engaged in something absolutely new to you.
- Be not sorry about deeds — looking back, it will never turn out to construct the future of the dream.
- Take care of the own life — though in the relations though free, the woman has to love first of all herself, and only then to her the worthy men able to appreciate women's presence at the life will begin to be attracted.
- Control the emotional state — parting the cause of a clinical depression becomes frequent that it is quite dangerous. All the time look for, than to distract itself from sad thoughts.
Self-programming will help to solve a problem with a depression. Not bad in this plan affirmation work. These are such installations which the person repeats to himself throughout certain time. As the human brain well perceives suggestion, 1–2 weeks later the result will be on the person. The brain will accept affirmation as reality.
Words can be the most various. There are several examples:
- I am happy without it.
- I do not feel offense.
- I am the attractive, comprehensively developed personality, etc.
Repeat affirmation not less than 50 times a day. In combination with them involve sports occupations which suit you for health reasons. Your purpose to the maximum to distract nervous system from a problem. During performance of monotonous movements already 20 minutes later from the beginning of occupations, in consciousness there is no thought left as the brain concentrates on other task. Together with all this look for good points in life and write down them on paper.
Whether you know? 20% of men of bachelors change bed linen not more often than once a month.
Parting with the man who causes sinking heart — a stump for the woman. If to perform all operations and it is correct to be adjusted, then will cope with a task it will be much easier. The main thing is to pick up tactics.