The reasons of loneliness and love failures often are in internal perception by the woman of and the world around. If, despite of your subtle intellect, bright appearance, the gentle disposition and a set of other merits, is not present worthy men, perhaps nearby, it is worth understanding the psychological beginnings of the outlook. How to attract mutual love in the life and to be happy with the man, further and the speech will go.
Why it is not lucky in love?
Everyone has such acquaintances — beautiful, clever, kind, good hostesses who, however, did not meet the destiny yet. According to the global database of social researches Euromonitor International, in the world the number of lonely women (as well as men) promptly increases from year to year. For the last decade this figure increased from 155 million up to 204 million, that is for 33%.
It is characteristic that many sociologists in it do not see accident, focusing attention on richer life of bachelors and holostyachek in emotional, sexual, cultural and social aspects. According to the famous sociologist, the researcher of a phenomenon of singles, the doctor of philosophy of New York University and the author of the book Life solo. New social reality Eric Kleinenberg, the reasons that most of people prefers to live alone are:
- the total urbanization of the 20th century which considerably changed conditions of human life;
- emancipation of women;
- intensive development of means of communication;
- change of a social view of the status of the single — it is associated with freedom and does not doom the person to sexual abstention or poverty;
- obsession with career and creative development;
- psychological barriers when place takes not perception of, and life is built by the principle I or according to the mother's scenario.
Whether you know? According to the American bureau of a census United States Census Bureau, men who were never married, in each age group, beginning of 18-19 and finishing for 55-64 years it is, more, than women. Only aged from 65 years is also more senior loner female prevail.
How to make room for feelings in the heart
If the loneliness for you is a burden and at last there is a wish to feel loving and loved, first of all it is necessary to bring order to the inner world.
For this purpose life coaches advise:
- To release former offenses and not to project the old relations on new. It is for this purpose important to forgive the former men and to live in the present. Until the reason lingers on the caused offenses, your biofield will be automatically filled with the negative energy concentrated on pain and sufferings. If to live a past, the place to the future will not be. Perhaps, it is necessary to get rid of things which remind you of the unsuccessful relations or to completely change scenery. It is enormous work on itself, but without it nothing will turn out.
- It is accurate to formulate an image of the man of the dream, having written down those lines and qualities most of which of all are pleasant to you. At the same time it is important to represent the person in different situations (as he will quarrel, be reconciled, treat children, parents, duties in family life, than will be fond as will earn). Thus you will be able to analyze the requirements to individuals of an opposite sex and to understand what type really is necessary to you (romantic, brutal man, etc.).
- To be a realist and not to carp at surrounding men. Look narrowly at them — perhaps, in a circle of your acquaintances there will be an interesting type which quite conforms to all your requirements. Do not frighten off from yourself people obstinate character, for life of the man look for appeasable wives.
- To limit a circle of surrounding pessimists, losers and whiners who cannot realize themselves in a profession and private life (concerns both men, and women). Communicate with happy married couples more, you learn to build on their example relationship in family and be loaded with a positive.
Important! The women injured in the psychological plan disappointed and also old maids, mistresses married, egoists, asexual, careerists, eternally busy or unapproachable women, according to psychologists, have high chance to be doomed to eternal loneliness.
Methods of attraction of love of the man in the life
In painful expectation of ideal darling many women lose faith in the happiness and over time get used to life of one. If it brings suffering and not in the best way influences a self-assessment of the personality, psychologists advise to sign up for courses of coaches who will help to understand vital values and to understand how to attract to themselves love. For this purpose there is a set of the methods which are based on reset of outlook and the attitude towards themselves.
Through psychological receptions
There is an opinion that all problems of the person begin with his head therefore this technique is based on the correct installations which help to start a reliable family. First of all the loner female needs to learn to love herself. In this aspect it is important to emphasize all strengths of the personality and not to step over an egoism side.
It is impossible to build the relations on feelings of pity to itself. It is frequent, having been undeceived in the happiness, the woman begins to think that such any more nobody ever will fall in love with her. Individuals who are not able to appreciate the advantages will never cause respect in others therefore you should not be obsessed with the defects.
Whether you know? Sociologists counted that about 40% of newborns appear from unmarried women.
If you seem to yourself too fat, it is possible to make efforts and to lose weight if not rather erudite — needs to be engaged in self-development. Psychologists advise to work to please to the feminine: to buy beautiful dresses, to carry heels, to do a beautiful make-up. At the same time it is important to avoid vulgarity and shocking.
Men love successful, good-natured, cheerful and well-groomed. Do not think that to allure love, only long legs, a slender waist or an impressive breast are necessary. The attraction and ardent feelings can arise because of your sure gait, enthusiasm, an internal positive and rays in eyes. Despondency, everlasting discontent and complaints to evil destiny — not the best that you can show. Not superfluous will and revise the behavior with men. Perhaps, it is impossible to enter into the relations because of your excessive reticence or persistence. If it is difficult to understand independently it, attend some courses on specifics of communication with an opposite sex.
By means of material things
The Ancient Chinese wisdom will help to get family. By traditions of feng shui, the woman who looks for the couple has to create the certain aura attracting harmony and power balance of private life in the house.
Important! Experts on feng shui advise moderately to sate the bedroom in red color: it attracts love and passion, and generates aggression much.
For this purpose experts advise:
- To minimize in the monastery quantity of furniture with strict classical forms, metalwork tools, various equipment, electric devices — they are men's attributes. Remember that darling will not be late for a long time in the apartment reminding a doll lodge of Barbie where everywhere pink lambrequins, ruches, soft toys, bows and florets. Subconsciously he will be afraid to destroy by the presence this ideal atmosphere.
- To sleep on a wide double bed. It is better to choose options with soft or shod backs. You watch that the design of a berth was in harmony with bed linen, reuniting energy of yin and янь. It means that on a men's massive bed the fluffy female plaid surely has to lie, and furniture of softer outlines, on the contrary, needs to be dimmed a rigid checkered or striped cover.
- To hang in rooms of a photo where you are happy also in surely in the company of the family or acquaintances. It is not necessary to expose portraits of lonely or unfortunate idols and also pessimistic pictures. In the bedroom it is worth avoiding pictures with the image of everything that is connected with elements of water. Ideally in this place the blossomed peonies, bright spring landscapes, happy couple of lovers will look.
- To get pair of men's room slippers. It should be made even if all of you still stay in a search phase. Such attribute by all means will attract to the house of the owner.
- To cease to look for actively the promised, visiting night clubs, parties and also showing excessive interest in male employees. Obvious search will not bring the expected results. For their achievement it is necessary not to be obsessed with the temporary status of the single and to live fully.
Councils of psychologists
To live in harmony and love with the world around, it is necessary to learn to respect the choice and to recognize the right of everyone for mistakes. Psychologists persistently recommend to ladies who did not meet the promised:
- not to live for approval of others, trying to please relatives, neighbors or in general unfamiliar passersby;
- to analyze the reasons of the previous love fiascoes and to draw the correct conclusions. The main thing at the same time is to be frank with itself;
- to stop being chief in all spheres of the life is a machismo that is shown by thrift, rigidity of character, fear to seem weak and vulnerable, dictatorship;
- to begin day with positive affirmation — I beautiful and happy, I will surely meet the ideal man, I am worthy the best.
Learn in more detail where and how to find the soulmate.
Ways for attraction of love exists much: all of them will begin to work at the correct psychological spirit and assessment of the reasons of the status of the single.