Jealousy – very unpleasant feeling arising from false ideas of itself and the world. The jealousy is a reaction to understanding of possible loss of participation in what property is not and cannot be. Unless other personality can be your property? The reasonable person can answer such question only negatively, and then it turns out that the jealousy is senseless (even if it is motivated).
For some reason such explanation cannot save completely from jealousy even of quite reasonable people. The thing is that we at all have very conditional ideas of own importance and value of own personality for another. You should not treat the feelings too seriously, such reaction is natural to teenage emo. It is slightly more than humour in relation to itself – and you will become by all means more interesting to others.
How not to be jealous?
Let's consider how to cease to be jealous darling, the husband the wife, the girlfriend of the real relations and the past.
- Realize and control the thoughts.
- If you register fear that close moves away from you, wonder: and in what the reasons? By the way, whether you have a basis not to trust another and whether there were bases to trust?
- Control the emotions and their manifestations. The restraint suits both to men, and women. If you cannot cope with negative feelings (such as offense, suspicion of treason or anger) you descend to experts better: to the sexologist, family psychologist or even psychotherapist.
- Openly, but correctly talk to relatives about the feelings. Be not afraid to ask them for the help. Define and discuss the limits of an admissible distance accepted for you in the relations with other people.
- Be not obsessed with a negative. If you cannot stop a stream of negative thoughts, think at least of greatness of the nature and universe. What we in comparison with it? Only small part. Grains of sand. Deeply inhale and slowly exhale.
- Work on yourself. Try to give yourself in better light, demonstrate the best lines at work. Remember that you are unique. Listen to yourself more attentively.
- Having defined a jealousy source, try to understand from where it results. Think alone over current situation. Take a detached view of a situation. Whether in your behavior the events reasons with you (in a broad sense) are? There is such expression Will seed character – will reap destiny.
- Comparing itself to others, do not try to imitate them blindly. Focus on own achievements and their registration. Do not envy others success, you aspire to the.
- Learn to switch and distract. Stop inspecting pages of an object of jealousy in social networks. Do not climb in its phone (and that will block). Such actions do not suit the person respecting himself in any way. You strive for moral cleanliness.
- Do not spy on the partner. If you are deceived, then, first, to it there are reasons; secondly, will be able to deceive again.
- Take care of the own life (walks, yoga, fitness), self-improve, study new, meditate.
- Look for ways of reduction and elimination of jealousy together with the partner. You learn to trust, however … a small amount of jealousy will not damage.
Some ask a question: How to cease to be jealous the ex-wife, the husband? It is unlikely this problem is solved unambiguously. Release yourself, another and the memoirs. Do not corrode to yourself soul. Usually true love is far from feeling of a sobstvenichestvo. If you were left by close, do not try to return it (then not to regret for it). If left wants to return, think whether it is worth affording also to it it or it is better to establish a new distance of the relations.