People with ease forgive unseemly acts unfamiliar or remote, quickly forgetting about those feelings which were had. But most difficultly for some reason forgiveness of those who were or are a part of the life is given: parents, friends and husbands. How to forgive the ex-husband, for this purpose, whether really forgiveness in general what is the time will be required and what it is worth beginning with?
Instruction
1. Begin with yourself. Look at the real situation quiet outsider's view and decide what in it is pleasant to you and what you would like to change. Try to understand why thoughts of the former spouse and his role in your life still haunt you. Analyze what you cannot forgive him for and for what –. In the broken-up relations there is a share of fault of each party therefore define in what you see his fault and in what – the. Try to understand as far as you are independent and you do not need support what life you would like to lead and as your general children feel. Let each aspect of your life, rational and emotional, will be subjected by you to fixed audit. If you cannot understand it, talk to the one to whom you unconditionally trust. You need to express and release what burdens you to move further and to fulfill the dream.
2. If you have to communicate with former husband, and in you the irritation, anger or offense at only one view of it boils in spite of the fact that passed several years, so a situation more difficult, than it seems to you. Forgiveness is a work, and first of all - work on itself and the forgiveness. And here you can be helped by people who passed through the same vital scenario, their positive experience can be to you an example and simplification. If thoughts of last marriage, the ex-husband and his real life literally prevent you to breathe, find the good psychologist. Do not become reserved and you do not carry mental anguish, everything that is exhausted with us inside, can develop into very serious illnesses and a depression.
3. Do not go on the way of self-abasement if you or your any shortcomings, real or imaginary became the cause of a divorce as you consider. You love and respect yourself, raise a self-assessment. Do not try to compare yourself and the new spouse or the passion of your ex-husband at all. You are different people, and its choice can be dictated by a number of the reasons to which you had no relation. Life much richer and is more diverse than ideas of it, and not everything in it is clear to you. Try to look at a situation on the other hand: your freedom if you accept it with pleasure, can become the beginning of a new, fascinating travel in search of happiness.
4. Try to understand your ex-husband, motives of his acts. This the most difficult in marriage, and after marriage seems absolutely impossible and even silly. And yet. Everything what you so resist to, falls upon you an avalanche, and what you accept, does not seem such terrible and imperfect any more. Both you, and he are people. And people have the right for mistakes. Now he is not your husband, and you have to his mistakes (neither to last, nor to future) no relation. Create a moral distance between you, it will help you to communicate neutrally if in it there is a need. Or, if any more connects nothing you, do not communicate absolutely.
5. Think, and whether really the status of your husband in your heart – former? Perhaps, your divorce was hasty, and it the spouse – hope that everything could be differently prevents you to forgive. But there is a probability that your husband, as well as you, cannot reconcile to the fact that you are his ex-wife. There is a big danger to live illusion which disturbs your new life. Talk to the ex-spouse frankly. If he really thinks of return to you and is ready to correct everything, he, most likely, will not play games, and you will be able to reunite. But if you understand that he is happy in new marriage or the relations, and does not think of return to you, do not place to it traps and you do not revenge. By the way, such conversation can work on you otrezvlyayushche, and you will be able quicker to begin to live life and meet new love. And if not, then then you will come to the first step again – begin with yourself. Your life - here and now!