You learn to say goodbye to the past. It is hard internal work, without having done which, it is impossible to begin new life. As it is impossible to drink clear water, without having washed up previously a cup. Acceptance of the existing situation such what it is, difficult, but is more useful to the person, than rejection and useless fight. In this case it is burdensome and destructive for inner world of everyone.
Instruction
1. Be honest with themselves. In soul you do not want to say goodbye to the person. You are terrified by a thought that you never will see it any more. You wish that it was near. Your thoughts only of it. And it has already other life. The husband left, and you remained in the past. You cherish memoirs, love which is absent any more. Mentally you argue with it, you prove something. It is important for you, and – is not essential to it any more. You cannot release in any way what already passed. Also you cannot understand that it not the one whom was earlier. You are afraid that it will be sore that you will not cope, afraid of emptiness and to make a fresh start. Now present that is more sick, than now, any more will not be. Right now peak of pain. Right now there is all that frightens, but you are still alive. Means, you will cope.
2. Get acquainted with "A geshtaltist prayer" and comprehend it. Perhaps, you will agree not with some of its provisions. But the main idea is that you are you, and your ex-husband – other person, and you can have absolutely different ways even if they also were crossed earlier. So, you are faced also by various tasks. Try to define and carry out personally yours. Change your expectations in relation to people. Psychologists say that the husband is not your relatives literally of this word. Ideally he is an adherent. If it not so, then quietly forgive him for discrepancy. Understanding that nobody is obliged to be such what others want to see it will be healthy.
3. What between you occurred once, accept that bitter experience. It is possible to treat it differently: as to purpose from above, as to a mistake from which it is possible to learn lessons or as a way to summon pity. The choice belongs to you, and you can do it, proceeding from your values. But you remember that life you, and have one for the sake of what it to live.
4. Be exempted from dependence. It means the word "release". Find independence and self-confidence and in that, as without ex-husband you will continue to lead full life and will cope with everything.
5. Visualize in free time, represent how life changes for the better. In you pictures as to you it will be heavy without husband as everything will remind of him are drawn. Change not only a situation, but also internal plots. It is especially useful to do it before going to bed and after awakening.
6. Accept your past, it belongs to you and has the right for existence. But it is the passable stage, leave it behind. It is impossible to live, looking back – it will be impossible to move further. Do not deny anything, you do not reproach yourself with former elections, and allow it to be your past, allow to develop life as it develops.
7. Use a farewell ritual. Close eyes and present how the ex-husband costs at your threshold. Invite him to the house. Mentally talk to it, sitting, for example, at a table. State everything that you want to tell it, considering that you say goodbye to it. Put the hand on his hand and wish good to this person. You see off it, say goodbye and close behind it a door. Now deeply inhale and open eyes. You on a new life.