How will get acquainted with the girl if you constraining and do not dare not only to start an entertaining conversation, but also a mouth to open and if you open – you hardly squeeze out from yourself muffled interjections and sketchy syllables? Yes, it, really the problem but is effective ways of its decision.
Certainly, if there is a problem, then by all means there is also a decision: only unconscious problems are not solved. But, as well as in a case with any other problem, it is necessary to understand in what its reason.
It is possible to allocate several main reasons for a problem. First, this inability to think as it is possible to get acquainted with the girl. That is the person needs the ideas on the organization of the process of acquaintance.
Secondly, motivation problem: the young man in general not really understands why he needs all this, or his motivation is artificial and therefore does not work (All say: why you have no girl, Mother presses, wants me to meet someone, That I, am worse than others, perhaps? and to that similar).
Thirdly, personal qualities of the young man, say, the shyness, shyness, and can be – roughness, carelessness, etc.)
I cannot get acquainted with the girl - councils of the psychologist
The first. Tactical. Where it is possible to get acquainted with the girl? Yes, actually, anywhere. Though on the street. If between people the spark ran, then all the rest does not matter. Perhaps, it is destiny! It is impossible to miss it. It is possible just to tell something, without excess trick: about weather, about: A rain, and I without umbrella, Love such weather!, It is good that today Friday and so forth. If the guy to the girl is nice, the conversation will be started. The main thing is not to give it to decay. Do not you know what to speak about? You speak about in what you are interested what you understand. Do not you understand anything? Why to you then girl? You sit down at textbooks: the ignoramus is interesting to nobody.
And if the spark did not run? Why then to get acquainted?
One more. Girls do not love slovens and rude fellows. It is not necessary to insert abusive expressions through a word: their range will not impress the decent girl unless she is a linguist or the psychiatrist. It is better to put on trousers, socks and an undershirt clean, to put boots in order, slightly to smooth hair. And to spit out chewing gum or to thrust for a cheek at least. By the form the girl judges the guy whether he is dangerous. Excessive brutality and a priblatnennost can frighten off her.
The second. Motivational. It is worth dealing with himself at first: do you need it? Perhaps, subconsciously young man is not ready to the serious relations and does not want to get acquainted in general, only fulfills some ridiculous duty, making a sacrifice to public opinion or desires of the family. Is not necessary. Such things brought nobody to good yet.
The third. Personal. Perhaps, the guy is not ready to communication psychologically: he still, in fact, the child capable only to admire by itself, the girl for him – only a mirror of its advantages. And she, maybe, does not want to be a mirror! Or, let us assume, he is selfish and does not accept her opinion: everything always has to be at his desire, her desires are not considered in any way. If this is so, then it is only worth correcting the behavior – and it's in the bag. However, not always it easily turns out …
What to do if you hesitate to get acquainted with the girl?
Really, how to get acquainted to the constraining person if, having lived about the years, the guy could not get rid of shyness? It is necessary to learn to live with it! The shyness can be a consequence underestimated or high self-esteem. If it is underestimated, think in what your strengths, and remember them all the time. Try to achieve something: to win the Olympic Games, to save the kid from the burning building, to brilliantly execute an order of the chief, to hand over a session on perfectly, to learn to put origami … Anything, but that you had the counter. If the self-assessment is overestimated, remember more often that it is overestimated also your shyness - it is fear that people will notice that you are not ideal. But you also should not be ideal (ideal, by the way, nobody loves).
When the person says that he hesitates to get acquainted with the girl who is pleasant, - he, as a rule, is really interested in communication. What it is possible to advise such meek creature? It is terrible to you to approach the girl, you sweat and shiver? Suffer and get used to such state. Over time these feelings will become habitual and will cease to disturb you.