It is almost impossible to meet family in which there are no scandals at all. There are several simple rules which will help to cease to solve the arisen problems by means of shout. And if it was not without scandal, then it is necessary to learn to forgive mistakes and offenses to dear people.
What means to forgive offense?
It is important to understand that to forgive offense it does not mean to forget it or to agree to its repetition. It does not mean that you have to recognize that this offense was acceptable for you, and not the fact that it will not repeat any more. You have to realize that you, first of all, suffer from offense, you feel tension and rage. You represent that you will tell the offender or that you will make to punish him. When you cannot find forces to forgive the offender, the offense will eat you. And you instead of enjoying pleasures of today, are upset because occurred still yesterday. Therefore in this case your tranquility will become the best revenge.
Know the enemy by sight
On the sheet of paper list offenses which you need to forgive, you have to know precisely what events hurt you.
Decide on responsible for the incident
You have to estimate fully the responsibility for each taken place event. Did you contribute to the development of scandal? Did you need to leave, but you did not want to recede and remained? If answers affirmative, then you are also responsible for the incident. And only full understanding of it will help you to refuse the offenses quicker.
How to release offense?
To learn to forgive offenses it is possible only after you a dung the following rule – the offense is a useless feeling. It is ungrateful and unproductive process. There are cases when the offense remains in you, trying to become for the offender a certain punishment. And indeed, many people use resentment only because they like to take offense, in offenses they see an opportunity to receive any benefit.
If you understand that you are ready to forgive offense, try to imagine before yourself an image of the offender, try to tell it: "I forgive you", wish it good luck and try to be exempted from emotional dependence. It is also fashionable to think up for himself a certain ceremony which will be able to exempt you from offenses. This ceremony has to not only exempt you from offense, but also put an end between you and your experiences.