If the daughter-in-law complains of the son what of positions it is better to choose: to support the daughter-in-law, to protect the son or to stand aside? In the first case it is possible to offend the son, in the second – to spoil the relations with the daughter-in-law, the third option threatens with a family divorce. What to do to keep family, to calm the daughter-in-law and not to upset the son?
It is required to you
- - patience
- - common sense
- - life experience
Instruction
1. To support the daughter-in-law. Complaints to the son – not an occasion to quarrel and spoil the relations with the daughter-in-law, it to you as the daughter. Not each mother-in-law can brag of such trust. Perhaps, the daughter-in-law waits from you for council and wants to understand as it is better to behave. After all, you know the son better. Complaints of the daughter-in-law can have also other character. For example, she wants you to influence the son. You proceed from a situation. If the son raises a hand against the wife or children – you should not be silent, talk to him, sort out. It is better to close eyes to small cavils and to transfer a conversation to other course. Interfering with others family relations, it is easy to remain guilty. Do not go too far, act tactfully and delicately, and then it will be possible and to be on friendly terms with the daughter-in-law, and not to offend the son.
2. To protect the son. Not all mothers-in-law want the friendly relations with daughters-in-law. And daughters-in-law often slander on sons beside the point. In such situations it is possible to show accurately that you on the party of the son. Perhaps, the daughter-in-law just still badly knows the husband, does not understand why he so behaves. You will just open for her eyes and will place all points over "i". Besides, you adore giving advice and to whom, how not to the daughter-in-law, to address them?
3. To stand aside. The most reasonable option at complaints of the daughter-in-law to the son is not to interfere. Children already adult – let solve the problems. Education gaps it already is necessary to correct and influence the son any more. The daughter-in-law knew whom marries therefore to you what claims? Besides there is no wish to spoil the relations with the son at all. This position can seem to the daughter-in-law indifferent or hostile, but only in case she waited from you for the help. You can support, listen, even to agree with it, but, nevertheless, to undertake nothing. As they say: "To run with the hare and hunt with the hounds". Wise mothers-in-law always try to stand neuter.
4. Arrive, proceeding from a situation as heart and life experience orders to you. Not to interfere – a fine position, but what to do if the family on the verge of a divorce, and to grandsons threatens to be left without one of parents? Perhaps, your help as Supreme judge, will play a crucial role in reconciliation of the parties. If, it is obvious that children can understand without you – stand aside. Do not forget that the daughter-in-law is a woman who loves your son. Perhaps, she is still simply young to understand senselessness of an invention to complain.