Reproaches are eternal satellites of the relations. As a rule, more actively the discontent is expressed by women. Though the list of complaint which they make to men, apparently, passes from father to son in an invariable look.
Misunderstanding
Misunderstanding – a concept extensive, it is the cornerstone of the majority of the conflicts. Its roots go to psychological differences between floors. If it is more habitual to women to solve problems, infinitely pronouncing them, then men have no such requirement. Therefore, calling the partner for verbal participation, ladies face alienation which is perceived as sign of indifference and coldness.
In fact, men are not guilty that are not capable to give to the darlings the emotional answer necessary for them. At them even at the physiological level in the speech centers of a brain is 17% less than neurons, than at women. Besides, boys since the childhood are not accustomed to heart-to-heart talks and expression of feelings. They use the speech only on matter and in a limited format. And the girls who got used to be secretive with mother in the family look for the same sensitive and attentive interlocutor. Most often, do not find therefore constantly reproach the stronger sex with misunderstanding. How to be in this situation?
It is clear, that to change installations which were formed for years and were put since early years, incredibly difficult. From the woman it is necessary to get rid of reproaches unambiguously. The second step is to lower a level of the expectations. Between people who consist in the relations and so there is a certain dialogue. Through it it is possible to discuss some important things, to ask council, to look for supports. It is better to leave other manifestations of emotions to the same mother or the girlfriend.
Avoiding of problems
Without having received fully a verbal response from the man, the woman begins to think that it runs away from problems. The stronger sex often chooses silence tactics in conflict situations. Actually these behavioural features go from the childhood too. In process of growing the boys lose communication with mother which is so strong in early years of life. It is impossible to tell that for them the first loss takes place completely. On the contrary, at the subconscious level the man begins to avoid emotional attachment, being afraid of repetition of "treachery". Therefore it is difficult to it to open to the woman, to trust in her. And he chooses as a solution silent escape.
And the girl grows absolutely in other situation. She does not learn to be strong and independent therefore in family she receives more emotional proximity, both with mother, and with the father. Having become adult, the woman looks for similar attachment in marriage. The man, as a rule, cannot give it. He still remembers the injuring situation from the childhood, but does not seek to understand it. Avoiding problems, the man tries to protect himself and to get rid of concern. He hopes that the woman will understand itself until her partner in life remains in a personal zone of comfort. In principle, often quite so also occurs.
Constant need for sex
For the woman love and sex – inseparable concepts. Therefore only with darling they can derive pleasure and pleasure. Men are much more focused on sex. They with pleasure would do without recognitions or courtings if had an opportunity at once to receive the desirable. Besides the woman is offended by the fact that sex with her is not so important for the man as in itself.
She seeks to feel the uniqueness for the elect through love. Men's perception, unlike women's, accurately shares emotions and satisfaction of physiological requirements to which sex belongs. In a word, it is senseless to reproach men that their libido is arranged differently.
Polygamy
As men share love and sex, it is easy for them to remain polygamous. The woman in series of lovers surely will have the one who is especially dear to it and causes the most tender feelings. The man, changing sexy partners, can not stop on someone one. To some of them the love does not come, and mother remains the main woman of life.
Even perception of physical treason at of both sexes – absolutely different. Ladies endure it as treachery, causing moral sufferings, an occasion to doubt herself. Most likely, will not even come to the man to mind to look for relationships of cause and effect, being engaged in self-flagellation. Can disturb him unless the played imagination which in paints draws the artful traitress in embraces of the rival.
The powerful physical inclination put in men at the first stage of the relations plays into the hands of the woman. Actually it is much easier to carry away the man, than to hold. At first he is ready to give in without a fight, getting under the power of female charms and a sexual attraction. But in process of rapprochement of two people they inevitably have a conflict. The woman is ready to be dissolved in the partner, being nearby day and night. The man, as it was mentioned earlier, prefers to keep a distance, existence of personal space helps it to feel safe. She takes offense and reproaches, he – sincerely does not understand in what a problem …
This opposition is also natural, as well as a difference between floors which no sexual revolutions will be able to erase. Only having accepted the true nature, women and men will secure themselves against many problems in the relations and will learn to avoid the mutual reproaches leading only to increase in an abyss between them, but not to achievement of true harmony.