For mothers who are independently bringing up children there is an official term - single mother. But many women having this status can argue with similar definition. Often single mothers call women who independently raise children born in marriage. And society steadily hangs up on such mother a label of the victim, defective and so on.
The most great difficulty for the woman who appeared in a situation when there is no number of a strong male shoulder, the husband and the father of the child is a lack of the help, including financial. Sometimes, that the woman remains with the baby on hands, without means of support and without roof over the head. At this moment the support of relatives is most important. It is not obligatory mother or the father, to support, help, even the friend or the girlfriend can shelter. You should not neglect any help, it is not that case when it is necessary to connect pride.
Modern society is so arranged that responsibility for children lies on the woman's shoulders, generally. And therefore, deciding to enter sexual relations with the man irrespective of whether constant it is the partner or the casual acquaintance, or perhaps even the lawful husband, the woman has to understand that in case of pregnancy approach the man can just evaporate, disappear in the unknown direction, providing to it independently to understand the situation most to think, where to live on what to sleep what to put on and how to support himself and the child. Unfortunately, cases when the man evades from payment of alimony in favor of the child are not rare, motivating with the fact that this money will go to the general moneybox, and not just to purchase of any things only for the son or the daughter. At the same time fathers do not consider that it is necessary not only to indulge the child toys of times a month, but also within a month the child eats something, goes to kindergarten, visits some sections or circles...
But financial side of a question, though is vital, nevertheless concedes to psychological discomfort which is felt by the woman. Because it is very terrible. And it is offensive. And it is sick. And still you feel infinite guilty before the little man. And with grief you watch how fathers ride the children on the sledge, play with sons in hockey on a winter skating rink, and still foreign daughters always have a reliable defender, and it is a lot more what else. Sense of guilt generates, in turn, the hypertrophied need to love and indulge that often develops into hyper guardianship, harmful for the child.
And in the evening when the kid falls asleep, the melancholy and despair, and loneliness lean. And to go to a depression not long. Therefore the first that independent mother has to make is to stop digging in itself, to look for shortcomings and the cause of the event. The situation already exists. Also it is necessary to learn to accept it. Not through pity to and to the child. You are full-fledged family. Though you will stumble continually about definition ""incomplete family"", but how not full? Here if in family there is no love - it is not full family, and you have no father, and the love is.
But to accept a situation and will learn not to drown nightly in the ocean of sad thoughts for someone easily, for someone - huge work. To help itself, the first that needs to be made - to occupy itself. To borrow completely and it is even more. Spending time with the child (or with children) - think of trifles, notice them and together rejoice. Consider leaves in the park and stars in the sky, walk, read, draw. Occupying the child with something interesting, and indulge in the same. And for the evening find a side job - even the kopek in the house superfluous does not happen. Or remember an old hobby which demands time and attention, and you, being married, threw the hobbies. It is very useful to be engaged in needlework. First, because it calms nervous system of the woman, and secondly, harmonizes female energy, stimulates production of hormones of happiness and pleasure. Besides, massage of acupuncture points which are much located on fingers and hands inevitably made during embroidery, knitting, sewing, has salutary effect on all organism, strengthening health of the woman.
There are various groups and trainings for women who raise children independently. After break in relations the help of the qualified psychologist can be required by the woman. But in most cases mothers cope. Because children are our everything.