The divorce is sad, but nevertheless often found process which many families face. It is even worse if at the time of the divorce in family there are children who watch the relations of parents and become involuntary participants of a divorce. How to mom to protect the child and his mentality in case of a divorce?
How to help itself
Rule No. 1: timeout
After the divorce the first 2-3 months are considered as the most difficult period. It is some kind of "phase of shock" during which the woman can do many mistakes. Therefore it is important during this period of time to allow himself to take small "timeout" and in general to refuse adoption of any important decisions. Once the mentality allows also a brain to return to the situation of stability.
Rule No. 2: to ask about the help it is necessary
Many people, especially in case of a divorce, have a fear to be weak and unsuccessful that pours out in isolation and closeness. However after a divorce you should not be afraid to ask about the help. It can be the simple help – to meet children, to buy something in shop, to help to clean up the house.
Rules No. 3: care of health
The mentality and bodies are connected with each other. If the mentality suffers, it is necessary to prepare a body and to make of it the strong base. For this purpose it is necessary to eat, remember properly the mode of rest and a dream and to walk as much as possible.
Important point: to help the child, it is necessary to help itself for a start. Only after that it will be possible to help the child and his mentality.
How to help the child
Rule No. 1: the husband - not the enemy to the child
Children subconsciously identify themselves as 50 percent of mom and 50 percent of dad. If mom says that dad – the dishonourable and worthless person, they will adopt these words and to take them personally. Therefore all negative directed to the husband goes to children.
Moreover, the child, wishing to please mom and dad, gets to the internal conflict which as a result can not only set by the ears the child with one of parents, but also lead to more serious consequences.
Rule No. 2: the child is not guilty
Divorce is what children take extremely painfully. Many of them think that the divorce happened because of them. You should not ignore children and their feelings. Also you should not leave from a sensitive issue with a divorce – better to talk to it, and in a conversation to focus attention of the child that he is not guilty.
Rule No. 3: emotional safety of the child is important
Children are those who perceive reality on the basis of parental reaction. How parents react to a certain situation, they also will judge its change and the attitude towards her. If mothers in a depression or, what is worse, in aggression, it becomes a non-return point in mentality of the child.
In other words, if to mom it is bad it means that she under the threat, and there is no hope that the situation will be resolved. Therefore it is worth speaking more often with the child, placing emphasis on a positive and goodwill. In this plan it is important to convince the child that in his life everything will be good. It is important to believe in it and most.