Treason is not always perceived by the changed partner as meanness and deception. Reasonings begin that feelings are not involved, it was the mistake, once is not considered and so on. But whatever these excuses were inventive and convincing, they do not change an essence. How to convince itself that any treason is a meanness?
1. Follow logic. The beginning of any relationship and the more so marriage is a peculiar promise of fidelity. The set of social contracts and traditions, and one of them – a promise of partners, let often and secret, on the monogamous relations has modern society at the order. Therefore the girl or the guy, the husband or the wife expects unconditional execution of this rule: the partner has to be only one. Moreover – the system of marriage in some countries can severely punish on treason – deprivation of freedom, property and money in favor of other partner. Other is admissible only in the free relations or in the absence of those.
2. Put yourself to the place of the partner. Present that not you changed, and to you. If you treat treason with ease, it is worth thinking whether so marriage or the serious relations is necessary to you. Possibly, it is worth breaking off such union. But in most cases such imagined situation is given by internal pain and indignation for changed. Therefore it becomes simpler to understand why treason is considered meanness.
3. Remember that any serious secret in the relations harms both partners and relationship in general. The secret connected at the same time with deception or concealment it will become sometime obligatory a reality. If you respect and love the partner, it is better to confess to everything at once and to come together to the decision whether it is worth continuing the relations. If to try to forget everything, to remain with the person to whom you changed and to pay off in the eyes, then scandal will burst sooner or later. Also it will be connected not only with what you changed, but also with the fact that about everything were silent. And it is a bigger meanness.
4. Do not deceive either yourself, or your partner. When one of partners changes – it becomes single deception, but if he hides treason, then deception becomes constant. It is impossible to build the full-fledged relations in deception, from it it will not be comfortable to either you, or your partner. You can spend a lot of time for one person, but finally be left with nothing. Honestly solve for yourself whether you want to remain with your partner or it is better to leave it and to build new relationship with other person. Otherwise your behavior can be regarded as meanness.
5. Make for yourself the right decision. Treason is in most cases weakness. Desire forbidden, is a little alcohol, the quarrel with the partner – and is already ready the platform for treason. To give in to weakness – in human nature. But only strong can admit the weakness, understand that it was not right and honestly to admit it to the partner. A lot of courage is necessary to make such act, and only it can be appreciated. Concealment, pity and justification are a meanness and destiny weak character.