Violence. From where does it undertake in family? All grooms are in own way good from where bad husbands undertake? Especially sadly, if business is not limited to frequent abuse in the house, and the man habitually raises a hand against the woman. Common female opinion that ""the man as though was changed"" - self-deception. The tendency to violence is defined at the first stage, in ""candy buketnom"" the period of the relations. How to distinguish in the boyfriend of future family despot in love and the tyrant?
Instruction
1. They say, the love is blind. During courting of the woman are inclined not to notice obvious things, being under ""hypnosis"" of male charm which many men ""include"" at full capacity. Unconscious self-deception, as a rule, is the cornerstone of such ""blindness"". And meanwhile to determine aggressive manifestations by phrases and acts, at a critical view of the elect, not so difficult. What signs give future family despot?
2. The man is inclined with a note of contempt to speak of women, with pleasure tells obscene jokes, uses offensive language concerning women or in a conversation with them. Take care: he will never see in the woman ""rovnyu"", will humiliate ""half"". If you fondly believe that slippery phrases, humiliating epithets which your acquaintance allows to other women will not concern you - are mistaken. Sooner or later he will release same and in your address.
3. If your acquaintance captiously treats your clothes, forbids to put on, according to him, the calling squads if he is irritated by male attention to you - not be touched. It is not care of you, and a psychological complex which will be shown in full subsequently: jealousy, irritability, aspiration to control each your step, imposing the ideas of how ""it is necessary to live"". There will pass not a lot of time, and you risk to hear very unflattering characteristics and humiliating words in own address. And psychological violence, most likely, will turn sooner or later into physical - when you try to rebel in response to so rigid pressure.
4. The curiosity of the applicant ""on a hand and heart"" has to guard any sane woman: if he tries to find information on you ""behind the back"", to get into your personal space - for example, to read your e-mail, contents of personal correspondence on social networks, to check contents of your bag. Sooner or later he will try to establish total control over each your step. The same concerns morbid curiosity concerning your private life ""to it"", especially, if this curiosity is shown in the form of the real interrogation, and in response to your frankness you receive ""drama"" emotional reaction or imposing to you sense of guilt.
5. Look narrowly, the man in physical sense is how aggressive. Embraces against your will, attempt ""to smother"" which seem first an innocent joke, the persistent requirement of sexual contact when you are not ready for it, use of physical force in different situations in relation to you - for example, sharp violent acts at intention to take away you from somewhere or to drag from a counter in shop. All this says that your groom will not reckon further with you, with your desires, and will consider you as usual property which resignedly has to submit to him.
6. Pay attention as far as he is reserved in emotions, it is how quick-tempered, subject to anger at the time of the dispute or disagreement with it. Proving the case in a dispute, the potential house brawler will show flashes of rage, to knock on a table a fist, ""to cut air"" with a palm edge, to use foul language, swear, throw things, to tear letters, to break objects, or to cause any material damage in other ways. Observe, what does he think of pets: whether gives it pleasure to hit a dog, to kick a cat? If such aggression is shown even before marriage, think what your life when you become the lawful wife can turn into.
7. Listen to his speech: ""I"" will tell abundance of pronouns to you of egoism, and abundance of imperative moods in communication with other people - of unhealthy authoritativeness. In Razgovorite of your groom, take an interest in his childhood, the relations with parents. And it is even better - get acquainted with his parents personally. Relationship will hardly take refuge in family of future spouse from an attentive sober view. Whether his father is inclined to violence? Your potential husband treats mother how with respect? He will build the family in the same way.
8. What else traits of character have to guard? Tendency to depressions, negative statements to other people, wishes of the evil to foes, charge of people around of the troubles, excessive ""vulnerability"", sensitivity, jealousy - all this says that the person not absolutely adequately treats reality. Sooner or later it will turn back against you - and you will hear in the address that you ugly, silly and are necessary to nobody. It is necessary to lower the woman's self-assessment for the tyrant not to feel a remorse. Therefore how you grudged the relations, do not lie to yourself. The person who especially developed cannot be corrected. Negative lines will only be aggravated over time. And the supreme value in the family relations is not only the love, a mutual attraction - but also your own personality, freedom, violently which it should not be allowed to anybody to suppress.