On the one hand, fears are a protective function of an organism, with another - complexes, a low self-assessment and fear of repetition of someone's scenario of life - or parental.
Instruction
1. As a rule, at the very beginning of the arisen personal relations there is a fear to cease to please, disappoint quickly. People with very underestimated self-assessment sometimes are even perplexed: why he / she chose / namely me, I do not shine with either talents, or beauty, or material prosperity? First, everything is relative, secondly, if you interested the person, something in you hooked on him, so, stop to reflex on this subject. And it is better, be engaged in increase in the importance in own eyes. It is difficult, but it is necessary for qualitative life. For a start make the list of your positive sides - believe, they will be gathered much though the underestimated self-assessment and first will disturb you. Over time this exercise will be given you much easier.
2. Other way to raise a self-assessment is a work on itself. You consider yourself insufficiently attractive - register to the gym, you go to the stylist, just to beauty shop, after all, there are glossy magazines and the advice of the friends which it is possible to ask for the help. Increase the intellectual level - read good literature - both to the classic, and modern. You go to theaters and to exhibitions, listen to music, communicate with interesting people, travel. You raise and develop - it has to become the only form of your existence.
3. One more widespread fear - fear to be disappointed. Perhaps, you look back at negative experience of the unsuccessful relations or experience of your parents prevails over you. The world is imperfect, but one business - to be realistic about the partner and to analyze his words and acts, and another is to decide, cultivate problems. Give an assessment to the past, then in the present there will be less disappointments. Try not to make those acts which led the last relations to crash. Do not build the relationship according to the scheme of the parents if it for you is far from a standard.
4. To be the abandoned darling - too quite widespread phobia besides resulting from diffidence, the appeal and from past experience. Therefore, most likely, your fears have under themselves no soil. You drive dark thoughts which prevent you to enjoy life and feelings overflowing you. If you cannot switch, talk to the darlings, for certain they will dispel your doubts. Besides, it is possible that your partner is exhausted by similar fears.
5. Quite often there is a fear of responsibility - connecting to the person, you anyway become dependent from each other. Perhaps, it is simpler to someone to be responsible only for himself, and this prevents to be responsible for those who were tamed to them a phobia, widespread in the basic among men. At many this fear is based on confidence that the serious relations will take away freedom and that life will not be former any more: less time will remain on itself favourite, on the hobbies, a hobby and, on the contrary, more than should be given to needs and the interests of the elect. It so only partly. Really, living in couple, it is necessary to sacrifice something - personal time, interests, etc. Interest your partner in the affairs, involve in the life - and you will have general hobbies, a hobby. And at the same time be interested, than there lives your elect, perhaps, you will have much more than the general, than was initially.
6. Anyway do not suppress your fears, you share them with relatives. If your discussions came to a standstill, descend on reception to the psychologist - together or separately, not important. The good expert will help to understand in the circumstances, to compromise and not without your efforts to get rid of fears.