You with the husband so waited for this kid, counted up days to his emergence. Your spouse seemed the happiest person. The child was born, and something changed. The father of the baby as if was discharged, stepped aside. Is afraid to take on hands, does not know from what party to approach the kid that in general with him to do and what to speak about. If not to change it, the child will grow up, and his father and will remain ""behind the scenes"". But never late to correct it. It is possible to help the father and the child to approach and involve the man in education of the child even if it seems that time is missed.
Some fathers not always with enthusiasm approach education of the child. The reason can be absolutely simple. He does not know how to behave with the kid, is afraid to make something not and to hear crying.
Other reason, it is kind of terrible sounded for mother, the lack of love is possible. Of course, a priori it has to love the kid. Our mind and genetics are aimed at loving and cherishing the posterity, the successors. But at the father, unlike mother, initially much less communications with the kid. He did not carry nine months the child under heart and did not listen as that kicks with legs. It does not produce special hormone oxytocin – hormone of love and tenderness between the kid and mother, capable to appear at both only at one her touch to the baby. Then that the father has to love the child, and by and large it is necessary very quickly to learn to love and study to express him this love.
Here one more reason why to men with children it is more difficult, than to women is. Why in kindergartens entirely female tutors? A secret in the emotional sphere – men are physiologically created so that all their essence is directed to actions, the purpose, result. But the area of emotions works much less actively. And women? They just have with it no problems, even in the absence of actor's education.
Emotions and actions are two different bases of our attitude. And they are various because the brain at the man and the woman is arranged literally differently. And now the woman who has no problems with emotions wants that the man was same loveful, gentle and lovely with their baby, as well as she. But just the same to him to become difficult in the same measure in what and to remake own brain. His love is aimed at ensuring conveniences to the kid. It existence of clothes, food, toys worries. And here the emotional attachment should be developed.
How do you react if constantly remind you of the rights and duties? That if someone daily provides you the list of that as to whom you have to. It is unlikely it would be perceived with delight. If it is constant to man to remind that he has to love and cherish the child, it will cause in it only despondency or even rejection. He does not doubt the love for the kid at all and can be indignant why the spouse does not see his efforts to provide family.
The help in emotional rapprochement of the father and the child will be effective if it is imperceptible.
Forget about "you have to", "you are obliged". As any people become bosom friends, just spending time together, and the father and his child will make friends if they begin to communicate. Even when communication of the child still nonverbal, without words. For example, hand in hands to the husband of a rattle, tell that this responsible task – to teach the kid to concentrate on a subject. And to you, suddenly so it happened, it is urgently necessary to perform some homework.
Try to make less remarks to the spouse during his game with the child. Interfere only when on ignorance the husband can threaten health of the baby.
If with a rattle the father does not know how to be, play three together. Show how you are engaged with the child as to his leleyata. And again leave for a while with the father.
Teach him to show tenderness to the tot. Kiss the kid on one cheek and leave the second for the father. The more often he will show caress, the his attachment will increase stronger.
Games with children are more senior - it is already much more interesting and fascinating occupation. Here the father can act also as the patient, and the client in hairdressing salon. With the boy they can make a lodge for birds, repair the machine, hammer a nail for a picture and even to fry omelet for tired beloved mother. With the girl - to cure her dolls, to pull out dresses and to organize a fashion show. The father will need only to sit in a visual row and to applaud young model. Variations set. And if the spouse does not know about them, prompt to him.
With children is a little more more senior interestingly and it is useful to perform collaboration. Prompt to the husband to take the son together to wash the car, to go to do shopping. If you have a personal plot, involve children in garden affairs. The father rakes up leaves – the daughter will help to put in bags, the father waters beds – the daughter can undertake the small watering can. Yes, it is optional to father to teach economic affairs only the son. Though training in work concerning the girl lies on the woman to a large extent, but also the father can carry out some household chores with the daughter.
Men can be very successful in education of children. They are capable to learn to spin braids on the head of the daughter, to sing lullabies and to think out improbable entertainments for children. The main thing to prompt that, where and as if everything only begins, to praise, thank for the help and never to compare to neighbour's fathers. In many respects in what measure the man will be involved in education of the child and with what mood, depends on mother.