It is not always easy to live with the mother-in-law in one house. The conflicts arising between the daughter-in-law and the husband's mother - quite frequent phenomenon. However they can be avoided. For this purpose it is necessary to try to understand the mother-in-law and to follow certain rules of conduct at communication with it.
Why there is a conflict with the mother-in-law
To understand the reason of emergence of the conflicts with the husband's mother, it is necessary to put mentally himself on her place. At once becomes clear that emergence in the house of the daughter-in-law breaks the habitual course of things. The mother-in-law for years equipped the house and life, and now there was a person who tries to make the corrections to already developed way of life. It is clear, that the daughter-in-law needs to do it, she also has habits and preferences. Also it is necessary to inform of such thought the mother-in-law.
The bulk of the conflicts between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law happens not because of hostility to each other or difficult character, and for a cause of infringement the daughter-in-law of family rules.
How to survive in one house with the mother-in-law
With the mother-in-law it is necessary to try to establish a psychological distance. It is not necessary to behave unnaturally it is better to seem. She all the same will notice it and will not estimate such efforts.
You should not begin to bring the orders to the house of the mother-in-law in the first day after moving. In this case it is worth showing patience and to wait time.
Even before moving to the mother-in-law it is important to discuss the household moments. At such conversation you should not hesitate to ask questions and to make the proposals. It is necessary to understand accurately how housekeeping will be distributed: who will be responsible for food, and who for washing. Also the financial question is of great importance. It is necessary to agree about the one who will begin to buy products, household chemicals and other things for general use. By the way, in this case it will be much more reasonable to keep separate budgets. It is morally necessary to be ready to what the mother-in-law will begin to learn how to be in charge of housekeeping. She can do it delicately, with a smile throwing mild remarks or, on the contrary, starting the long ardent speech in which the sharp emphasis on the things which were not pleasant to it will be placed. But it is otherwise important to show tranquility. Perhaps even, the mother-in-law will try to bring specially the daughter-in-law to emotions, then especially it is worth behaving. In more stoutly possible that after a while mother of the husband will calm down, having noticed that the daughter-in-law does not react to her negative. And, of course, not to incite the mother-in-law against itself, it is necessary to remember and observe one, but extremely important rule: under no circumstances it is impossible to sort out the relations with the husband in the presence of the mother-in-law. It is necessary to understand that she is mother who will always be on the party of the child. And even if the mother-in-law will not begin to interfere with skirmishes between the son and his wife, will feel at least extremely awkwardly.