For each child mother — the most important person in life, however because of different views on life between representatives of different generations often there are disagreements which are quite often developing into large quarrels. What can cause such misunderstanding and how to reconcile with mother after the conflict — read further.
The main reasons for constant quarrels with parents
Most of parents want to the children only good even if they in the course of education show excessive insistence. Sometimes it becomes the main reason for emergence of a conflict situation, and not only with mother, but also with the father who is also directly involved in education process. From the point of view of teenagers, it is possible to enter the following features of behavior of parents in the list of the most frequent reasons for another quarrel:
- restriction of freedom and constant control;
- mistrust and ignoring of personal opinion of the child;
- lack of due consideration to life of children;
- high insistence to all actions of younger generation;
- constant comparison of the child with children of relatives and friends;
- rejection of a circle of contacts of the child.
From parents the next reason for the conflict can become:
- ignoring of certain bans;
- computer dependence (is expressed not only in online games, but also in constant scrolling of pages on social networks);
- low progress;
- non-performance of the assigned household chores;
- communication with doubtful people, even if peers.
In certain cases both parties have the right for claims to each other, however their discussion has to take place quiet tone, taking into account opinion of the opponent. It concerns both the child, and the parent, the main thing in prevention and the decision of any conflict — ability to listen and consider opinion of other person.
Whether you know? The women who gave birth to the last child after 33 years have twice more chances to live up to 95 years, in comparison with young mothers whose last childbirth happened up to 29 years. Most likely, it is connected with hormonal reorganization of an organism and its updating owing to childbirth.
What to do if strongly quarreled with mother
If it was not succeeded to warn a serious quarrel, and now you do not talk to mother with each other, it is important to reconcile and improve the relations as soon as possible. Certainly, apology, but a trouble that it is always difficult to take the first step will be the most logical solution.
Consider a situation
Having a little calmed down after the quarrel and having restrained the heat, try to estimate soberly the reasons of a conflict situation and the role in it. Perhaps, you could warn somehow a quarrel, and it is possible, fault to all unsuccessful combination of circumstances (for example, both had no mood, and the trifling occasion became the basis for the extensive conflict). Before accusing of all parents (it is characteristic of any teenager), try to assess a situation from the different parties. Possibly, having put itself to the place of the loved one, you will understand his reaction to your words or actions.
Do not look for justifications
Not always parents are completely right in the relation to a specific situation, however do not hurry to shift all responsibility for a quarrel to mother: without the second participant the conflict is impossible, so, you should not try to justify youself. Having well considered the incident, you for certain remember some words or actions which only warmed up a dispute and resulted you in such unpleasant result.
Important! Kind of you were not angry with the mother, never say that you do not love it or it is not necessary to you. Such words will very painfully wound the person who loves you very much and wishes only good luck. Especially will be to improve the relations after such words very much and very not easy.
Be more patient
When emotions after the quarrel a little settle, the loving people always begin to reproach themselves with the incident therefore it is quite probable that to your mother it is very heavy now. Usually it is noticeable externally, and if the native person does not take the first step, make it: having picked up the moment which is the most suitable for this purpose, quietly talk to mother, without imposing the opinion. Listening to all her arguments, try to behave and not to begin a new quarrel even if the available arguments seem to you absurd and inappropriate.
Having quietly listened to her point of view, ask mother to listen also quietly to yours, without interrupting. If it is not ready to it now, suggest to postpone a conversation, at least until until you are able to communicate quiet tone.
Of course, to start the first a conversation — it is difficult, but to worry because of the incident even more difficultly therefore it is worth rejecting the pride and to show a patience maximum in the circumstances. Believe, it will remain estimated by your mother, and it is quite probable, will help to warn the same conflict situations further.
Be more initiative
It is unlikely right after the quarrel the parents will want to discuss the incident and will be able quietly to assess a situation. However it does not mean that it is necessary to add fuel to the fire the gloomy appearance and demonstration of offense for the whole world. If mother asks you about the help, you should not refuse to it it, and show an initiative, even better anyway, and nobody cancelled household chores. Both of you have to make every effort for creation of a cosiness in the house.
Read also how to reconcile with the guy after parting.
How to reconcile with mother after the strong quarrel
Rage and nervousness — only episodes in our life, and here love of mother for the child — her constant, the integral component. Therefore kind of the native person was not angry with you, but finally all the same will forgive. You can just wait for this moment, and can reconcile the first that will confirm also your love for mother. It is possible to take the first step in several ways, but, first of all, it is worth understanding who is guilty in the circumstances, and only after that to take the corresponding actions for reconciliation.
If I am guilty
If you swore with mother, were an instigator of the conflict and at last realized it, it is a high time to admit the guilt and to show as far as you regret for the actions. Quietly talk to it and explain what forced you to tell all unpleasant words, and promise not to repeat them any more (certainly, this promise should be kept).
Happens that some verbal apologies are not enough, and the offense of mother is much deeper, than she tries to show it. In such situation also the specific actions which are expressed in the help with the house, joint pastime and discussion of important vital questions will be important. Care manifestation even if in trifles, helps to kindle offense quicker.
As a last resort it is possible to tell mother that you regret for the incident and to ask directly as it is possible to make amends. It is quite probable that after this question she will tell that she was offended by most of all. Try not to repeat the made mistakes any more and look for compromise option of interaction which would suit both of you.
It is important! If you completely realized the fault and are ready to ask forgiveness, at the same time always look to mother in the face. The words told in a floor or a ceiling sound not so sincerely therefore also the attitude towards them cannot be very serious.
If she is not right
Sometimes parents, however also are guilty of conflict situations if attentively to study their behavior (without subjective spirit), it is quite probable that you even in something will understand your mother. Analyze why she had a wrong opinion on you or why she tries to control constantly a situation, perhaps, for this purpose your many other actions were the cause.
Anyway the further behavior with the mother should not be aggressive or be followed by constant expression of discontent of you. Most likely, she also already understood the mistakes therefore you should not aggravate a situation even more. You should not draw any time on the correctness and when passions poulyanutsya, it will be possible to discuss everything in quieter situation and on the sober head.
What to do if it is difficult to find a common language
It is not always simple to find a common language with the parents, but it does not mean that you should not undertake attempts. At the correct behavior it is possible to reduce significantly quantity of conflict situations with benefit for both parties. It is possible to achieve it the following actions:
- Focus on what depends on you. Instead of to blame the mother for everything, think what can be made for an achievement of peace in the house. Usually the quarrel develops not so much because parents, and because of reaction of the child to these words speak. At quiet discussion of any situation it is much simpler to avoid the conflict.
- Learn to listen people around including the criticism proceeding from them. Show to mother that you are ready to listen to her, and it, most likely, will do the same.
- Do not forget that you with parents always in one team and that they did not speak, all the same wish the children only good luck. Try to consider disputable situations in terms of playing tennis where the obstinacy and disagreement acts as a ball: the more you beat off it, the game will longer last.
- Try though for a minute to look at the events with eyes of mother or father, having presented that it is about your own children.
- Show obedience and learn to speak quiet tone about the disagreement. It is quite probable that in a number of situations it is simpler to agree, than to aggravate them with the obstinacy if and it is so clear that it will change nothing.
- Prove to mother that you are really an adult and logically conceiving person. If children want them to be perceived as adults, then it is necessary to show to parents that they such also are. For example, always keep these promises and do not ignore the duties (not only in household chores, but also in study).
Whether you know? The leader among the world countries in birth rate Nigeria where one woman on average raises not less than 8 children is considered. For comparison — in Singapore as much of children it is the share of 10 women.
Of course, on positive changes some time can be required, but at regular implementation of all recommendations you also will soon notice them.
Councils of experienced psychologists
Reconciliation — a difficult task and not everything comes easily. Especially it concerns those cases when in the course of the quarrel the close people were told many unpleasant words.
Understanding the fault, it is important to correct as soon as possible a situation, and here is how it is simpler to make it after the conflict with mother:
- Talk in a quiet situation and sincerely apologize for the words. The sincerity in statements will help to convince it that you really rethought a lot of things and are ready to constructive dialogue. The main requirement — attempt to solve the conflict, but not to aggravate it even more therefore try that communication did not pass to raised tone and a repeated showdown.
- Besides verbal apologies, nonverbal actions will be not less important. Physical contact between mother and the child — an important part of their relationship, so, it is possible just to embrace and to keep silent a little. Even very offended parents will not push away the guilty child that will help to resolve a conflict situation and to improve the relations.
- In conclusion of a conversation you can mention that you know how strongly mother loves you, you appreciate her care and, despite everything, too you will not cease to love it.
Further, to fix your reconciliation, it is possible to go together to movie theater, to give mother a small gift or just to talk behind a cup of tea, the main thing that all this was made sincerely and with love. Believe, taking understanding and care of the mother, you just do not want to quarrel. And your small offenses, perhaps, will be perceived by it absolutely in other key.