Many people are interested what is abuse in the relations. Classification is given in our article, signs of its manifestation are described and also recommendations of how to get rid of the abuser are made.
What is abuse in the relations?
Abuse it is considered to be coercion under pressure, insult and violence. It is physical, psychological, sexual and economic, and in certain cases acts as set of several types. The Abyyuzivny relations can last for years, and all this period the victim lives by the rules which are thought up by the tyrant.
Important! The main task of the offender — the statement of the power over the victim.
Anyone can be the tyrant, that is the abuser, in the modern world: parents, relatives, friends, employees, strangers and others after communication with which long time you will feel small. It is necessary to consider that this process is not a deviation. It is only a complex of stereotypes, character, ignorance. Pressure is dangerous what influences a condition of mentality. Not each person is capable to leave him without loss. Emotional violence cannot be proved as it does not leave marks on a body. After time most of victims of violence appear in a depression and are not capable to get rid of uneasiness independently. Submission to the abuser leads to stressful frustration which reminds a post-traumatic syndrome.
Types of abuse
Carry such to main types of abuse:
- psychological;
- sexual;
- physical;
- narcissistic.
Whether you know? Definition narcissistic abuse was for the first time sounded by the French psychiatrist, the expert in the field of criminology Marie-France Irigoyllen.
The detailed description of each of types is given below.
- Psychological abuse. This violence includes universal insults, humiliations, blackmail, ignorings and threats of physical violence. In the form the psychological violence can be hidden and open. In the first form the man in relation to the woman carries out all humiliations alone when close there are no strangers. In eyes at people around such man looks the positive person, and all attempts of the woman to receive protection against violence cause confusion in most of people around. At an open form of violence all occurs on the contrary: the man openly shows surrounding the personal attitude towards the woman, without any visible reasons can initiate scandal, accuse it of obscene behavior, etc. After several months of family life the wife turns into the closed personality and begins to believe in the insolvency.
- Sexual abuse. This type of violence is often crossed with psychological. The psychological tyrant refuses sex with the wife for her emotional insult, and the sexy abuser often treats the woman, as a toy for satisfaction of the sexual fantasies.
- Physical abuse. It is one of the most unpleasant types of violence which often comes to an end with death of the victim. The physical tyrant skillfully manipulates the victim, convincing it that it was an initiator of use of physical force. Beatings will have frequent and aggressive character until the victim of violence does not break morally.
- Narcissistic abuse. Narcissuses are capable to overwind any situation upside down, moral violence which directionally on suppression of mentality is often inherent in them. The main objective is to humiliate, break and expose guilty of all events the victim.
How to distinguish the abuser?
The abuser can be determined by a number of signs which will allow to avoid its negative influence in the future.
Read in more detail how to solve a violence problem in family.
It is necessary to consider them in more detail:
- aggression in behavior of rather defenseless and weak persons;
- passion for criticism;
- infringement of others personal space;
- total control.
The main sign of the abuser is ignoring of personal space.
The victim of abuse — who it?
The abuser always chooses the victim under himself, he checks whether this partner is suitable for this role. It is necessary to consider further whom abusers choose as future victim.
Whether you know? At one of forums the participant admitted to interlocutors that he openly threatened the wife with leaving to the mistress for satisfaction of the sexual requirements, and she is obliged to be to it grateful for the fact that he does not throw it forever. This manifestation of a combination of psychological and sexual types of abuse.
So, it:
- bright resource person;
- the person with sincere wounds;
- victim of other offenders;
- personal to get an object also hatred;
- source of problems and offenses;
- strong personality.
How to protect itself from abuse?
That it will be protected from the emotional tyrant, it is necessary to know what he is afraid of. Such people do not love when they render them repulse, they at once recede from the victim. It is necessary to overcome in itself fear and to remember that the best protection — attack. However one-time counterattack will not solve a problem of emotional violence, but after a while at the abuser the desire to terrorize you will disappear.
By own efforts it is practically not real it is necessary to leave the offender, not important whom he to you — the close friend or the partner. The termination of such relations — the best way to save to itself life. If begin to manipulate you, learn to fight back, you speak no on requests which are similar to orders. As one of ways of opposition to the abuser also indifference to its attacks as it as power feed needs fear of the victim can serve.
Important! It is recommended to minimize communication with such person, to keep it always at arm's length. Also it is not necessary to tell such people the intimate stories.
It is necessary to remember that the dependence on the emotional tyrant can be so high that the victim is incapable to resist independently. In such cases it is necessary to ask for the help and to stop communication with the tyrant until there is an adequate way of opposition to moral violence.
Video: who such abuser and as to distinguish him