The love subject is up to the end not opened in psychology. Many couples cannot understand, he loves or it or not.
But how to learn, whether real it feelings or just a habit? Our article will tell about it.
What is love and as it appears
The love is an attraction to each other of two people who have joint interests. Up to the end psychologists did not solve as it appears and what extents of manifestation of this feeling exist. First of all is a care and interest in the person who is nearby. Many scientists consider that the main thing in an attraction of people to each other is not only the appearance, hair color and a voice, but also a smell which attracts partners. Fluids which are exhaled by darling attract.
On the other hand, the feeling to another is a way to fall in love with itself, only in this case will be able sincerely to love another. Some compare this unique feeling to fluttering of butterflies in a stomach.
Learn how to understand to the girl that she fell in love.
The love can arise in a miscellaneous aged, and in different stages of human life it is shown differently. It arises at communication with the person to which you are similar or you have joint interests and also activity. People are fond with each other, begin to flirt, care, spend time together, it brings together them, and subsequently people fall in love.
Ways how to understand whether you love the person
In spite of the fact that the formula of love is opened not up to the end, there are ways which will help to understand whether you love or not:
- One of the main signs of love at ancient Greeks was manifestation of care which consisted in respect to each other.
- The respect between people can increase their mutual understanding and also convince that in the man or in the woman you are attracted not only high qualities, but also bad. The formula of respect sounds so: in spite of the fact that I know that you have both good, and negative traits of character, I all the same love you.
- Sympathy — one of the main signs on which it is possible to tell surely that you love also you too. The sympathy arises at discussion of mutual interests and carrying out time together with the partner.
- The proximity demonstrates strong emotional connection between you as for proximity it is important to know very well other person, to trust and rely on him.
Sympathy
The sympathy is, first of all, a friendly feeling. At its emergence we look for in the friend's friend, but if the sympathy is connected with love, then it is natural to assume that you will demand the same in reply. Manifestation of sympathy for other person stimulates emergence of desire to be the witness heard, to be nearby and to know about everything that occurs in life of another. If the sympathy is mutual, people can begin to correct themselves to be pleasant more to the partner. However, if these feelings are not mutual, it is possible to test a depression, to begin to break on close and dear people and also to secretly hate the beloved and those who are near him or her.
Whether you know? There is a disease at which the person has no feelings, including love. This disease is called a gipopituitarizm.
Sexual inclination
The sexual inclination is a way to rapprochement between two heterosexual individuals. At the same time emergence of this emotion does not speak about true love yet. This inclination appears because it is pleasant to you how the person smells, his voice, appearance. The love is the phenomenon social, it is a peculiar superstructure over instinctive sexual desire. It is more complete and more beautiful than an animal sexual instinct. The healthy love includes sexual desire as an obligatory component, but does not come down only to it. It is that joy which makes us sensitive to each moment of life, to each impression of life, it is indifferent as to physical, and moral, develops, strengthens a body.
Read how to surprise the man in a bed.
Set of community of interests
Common interests bring together people as if to you is what to talk about, then it will not be boring in the further relations. Also common interests help to recognize each other and to be improved for the sake of the second or to seek to be better in any given occupation. Interests are an opportunity to approach depth of a human soul and to learn heart and feelings and also to completely understand and accept the person. Besides it is a good way to exchange experience.
Passion
The passion is a sexual inclination to each other. First it can be confused with love, however the passion is something bigger, than tenderness manifestation (kisses and embraces) as this physical desire of the partner. This feeling can be silent and lightning as you think constantly of the partner or the beloved. At the same time during the meeting two sometimes do not find words to describe or express the emotions. Passion — not such deep feeling as love, but at the same time it lasts longer, than love. If this feeling is not supported with love, it will quickly disappear, and everything that was at first between the woman and the man, will remain in the past.
Jealousy
Most often the jealousy is carried to fear of loss of the partner or fear that it will leave to other person. However the jealousy can serve as the proof of strong attachment and love for the person and also unwillingness to release the person from the life. The jealousy appears owing to the increased amount of hormones in the period of love.
It is important! Remember that the excessive jealousy with constant control and pressure can lead to break in relations.
Many people who experienced painful partings in the past begin to love even more former half. At the same time new parting is perceived much more difficult, and such person departs from it much longer, than in the previous time.
How to understand that it is love or attachment
True love or habit — the basic, what of these feelings, in your relations, sometimes it is difficult to understand as one accompanies the second. The love does not exist without attachment. Let's consider several options of love and attachment:
- There is a love without habit, it consists in the first a kiss, courtings, courtesies, sympathy which soon passes into love. Then there is a respect, care. You think of other person without stopping. It is also pure love.
- Habit to love. Psychologists repeat that this feeling proceeds from 4 months to 4 years that, quite possibly, will cause in readers association with the book by F. Beigbeder "The love lives three years". However many of us know that it is impossible to calculate the exact term of love, it not the mathematical equation. You meet a soulmate, the period of courtings flows in the passionate relations which can lead to a wedding. The birth of children, household problems sometimes exhaust, however if after so many obstacles you continue to love the person and to speak to him about it almost daily is and there is a habit to love.
- Habit without love. The love without habit does not happen, but sometimes occurs so that it vanishes, and the person and a habit to be with him remain. Feelings grow dim because of life, frequent quarrels, but nevertheless you continue to be together, know habits and preferences of each other. There are several signs on which it is possible to understand that you just got used to the person. You discuss working issues or problems with friends, avoiding to communicate on this subject with the partner; you have no joint plans for the future and you put the interests above the general; the passion and intimate proximity were gone, sex happens seldom.
Whether you know? In England the scientists built the device by which it is possible to determine love level.
What to do if the love passed
Before being convinced that the love passed it is necessary to understand, whether so it. There are signs on which it is possible to understand it:
- The behavior, habits of the partner and in general people begins to irritate you.
- You do not want to spend together time, it is better to sit somewhere with friends. You do not hurry home. Joint pastime does not give you pleasure. You ceased to discuss private matters, to plan something together, it is boring for you to be with each other.
- Sexual desire came down to zero. Sex for you became a family debt.
- During the quarrels you do not try to understand the conflicts and to solve them.
- You stopped thinking about the partner.
- When your darling is ill, you do not want to look after him.
You should not cling to the relations if the love turned into a habit.
It is important! Remember that if you in the relations with the person whom you do not love you subject to tortures as yourself, and the partner, without allowing both of you to move further.
Think of for what to you to continue such relations: because you are afraid to be lonely or that it is better than her / him will not be in the world. Both decisions in a root wrong. Just let's the person leave, release him as the balloon. Psychologists recommend to think of a gap in such situations:
- if the partner controls each your step, manipulates you, spreading sense of guilt for acts which you did not make;
- if from the partner you test disrespect, constant humiliation concerning appearance and habits;
- the partner does not want to acquaint you with the friends, family, is ashamed of you.
Before making the decision, it is worth discussing everything with the partner, perhaps, not everything as difficult as in a rush of emotions it seems to you. Consider whether it is possible to improve the relations and as to make it. Otherwise, if the gap is inevitable, try to perceive it as advance. If you difficult endure a gap, address the psychotherapist. If necessary this expert will give appointment to intake of antidepressants which increase serotonin level in an organism.
Read how it is correct to leave the man without having offended him.
The love is the unique phenomenon which spiritualizes people, bringing sense and inspiration in their life. If you met the person with whom to you comfortably, cheerfully and there is a feeling of love, keep this feeling in the life. If it passed long ago, having left an unpleasant deposit, but there are not enough forces to break off the relations, you remember that, having only released the person, you will be able to take the following step in the life.