The jealousy is one of ancient emotions. It is designed to preserve the relations against external threats of disintegration of the institution of the family. Usually classical feeling of jealousy is connected with suspicions of incorrectness of the partner. However cases when work, a hobby, friends and even the computer becomes objects of discontent meet today.
The facts about jealousy
The psychology of jealousy is that the whole set of various feelings operates the person. This desire to possess a love object, mistrust, fear to lose the partner, etc. Practically always existence of jealousy says that its owner is an imperfect personality. This feeling arises only at those who have a low self-assessment, is not self-assured, does not trust the partner and is the owner with burning desire to possess completely it.
Today the reasons of jealousy abound with a variety. However it is possible to allocate several main forms of manifestation of this feeling:
- If jealous man owner. Such person has enough reasons for jealousy. It can be separation, treason, behavior of the partner which seems suspicious, cooling of the relations, lack of information on what the beloved does in the spare time, etc. The true reason is in character of the person. He is not able to respect the identity of the partner, is inclined to obstinacy, is not able to forgive, and is vlastolyubets.
- Jealousy because of feeling of own inferiority. The psychology of such jealous man or jealous woman consists in tendency to exaggerate danger, worry because of own unattractiveness and lack of sexuality. For similar persons even the thought that the partner can compare it to the rival (or the competitor) because loss will be obvious is terrible.
- Jealousy as projection of own shortcomings. Here reflections are rather simple. The person, an angel not, thinks that if it can be an object of love of another, then and his partner can quite do the same. Usually at such jealousy also does not smell of love.
The causes of jealousy can be listed infinitely. However it is worth remembering that its manifestation is almost always pathology. Against which it is naturally necessary to fight.
Councils of the psychologist – how to bridle jealousy?
Most often the men's jealousy in many respects differs from women's. For example, the husband the jealous man can find occasions anywhere. He is jealous of work, of children, grandsons, colleagues, etc. Men most often out of jealousy file for a divorce though they more often also change the spouses.
The behavior of the jealous woman in the majority is based on comparison with the competitor and tries to understand that it found in her. The heaviest threat for women is a simple and easy communication of the man with other lady as in family life emotional and trusting relationship is important for them.
Also a lot of things depend on temperament. People quiet and balanced can bear the jealousy for years, and those who have powerful temperament are capable to make instantly scandal and also to pass away instantly.
If at your life in a large number there is a jealousy, then its psychology has to be considered in two options:
- If with you there is a pathological jealous man nearby. Pay attention as long you meet this person. If he from the very beginning raises a claim to you, then it is farther it will be capable to make your life intolerable. You will be helped by some advice:
- find the reason for which you provoked jealousy. It is possible the reason even not in your behavior, and a habit to be jealous at your partner;
- acquaint the partner with all the acquaintances of an opposite sex that he understood that it is possible not to doubt your fidelity;
- do not give reasons for jealousy. Build your relations on trust and stability; - if the partner is not able to cope itself, address the psychologist; - you remember that the behavior of the jealous man can be caused it by own sins.
- If the jealousy disturbs you. Before making scandal wait exactly day that passions in your soul ceased.
- try to distract with oppressive feeling by means of entertainments and household chores;
- if your suspicions of incorrectness of the partner haunt you, discuss with him this moment. Explain the feelings, offenses, etc.;
- when for jealousy the woman has good reasons before making scandal try to understand that happened to your relations and why pulled your partner on the party.
In what situation you would not face jealousy, remember that emergence of this feeling – the first call in order that jealous tried to understand himself and own self-assessment. And let in your life this feeling meets as little as possible.