There are several interesting councils how it is correct to bring up the child. Of course, they are not universal as all children are in own way unique. But, nevertheless, there are some things which are absolutely precisely contraindicated in case of communication with all children. So, it is a little what cannot be done to parents.
Instruction
1. It is impossible to humiliate the child. For example, mother can tell in a fit of temper: "Well you and well done!". Of course, with irony. Or, for example, "And you unless could not think up anything more interesting? Do you have a head or not?". You kill with these humiliations yourself as good parent in the opinion of the child.
2. It is not necessary to threaten the child. For example, a phrase "Once again – you will also receive!", "Stop, or I will punish!". Each such threat – a brick in a wall of hatred and fear you your child. Remember that threats are absolutely useless. They will never improve behavior.
3. It is not necessary to extort from the child of promises. It is familiar to all parents. For example, the child played mean tricks, and mother tells him approximately following phrase: "You have to promise me that it any more will never repeat, and then I will forgive you". Of course, she receives a promise. But there pass several days or even hours, and the child made the same again. Of course, mother in shout: "You promised!". She just does not know that such promise means nothing to the small child. Small children live in the present. What is the extortion of promises? These are only stones which will press to the child on conscience if he is sensitive. But, if he not such, then he becomes a cynic.
4. It is not necessary to be the excessive trustee. Guardianship accustoms the child to a thought that he is dependent. Most of parents simply underestimate abilities of the children. Remember, as a rule – "Do not do for the child what he also will be able to make".
5. Also it is impossible to demand from the child of obedience. For example, your wife or your husband speaks to you: "Quickly leave all the affairs and make a breakfast / bring me coffee / go to shop. It will be pleasant? Of course not. Here in the same way it will not be pleasant also to your child. It is the best of all to warn in advance: "Is ready, in half an hour to eat/walk/sleep. Submission does of the child not the person, but the puppet on life.
6. It is impossible to indulge the child. Children automatically feel if they of the parent are afraid to be with them firm. Such fear to tell "no" gives them confidence that for them all rules are simply cancelled. It is possible that within family it suits all – the child receives everything that wants, and parents execute all his whims. But here what will be outside a family circle? Only disappointments alone, there, in the world and society, nobody will indulge it, and he, in turn, will think that the world to it is unfair.
7. Be consecutive. What does it mean? Everything is very simple. Let's assume that on Sunday at you excellent mood and you allow the child to violate some rules. Perfectly, the child is happy, he rejoices that it has such parent. But there comes the beginning of week, at work of a problem, you come home, and there the child still violates the rule. Your reaction? To bring down on it all the anger. And here imagine reaction of the child for a second. Here you learn to drive. Imagine that Monday through Wednesday red light means "stop", and Thursday through Sunday – "it is possible to go". It is difficult. The disorder and randomness in the bans and permissions are unacceptable.
8. It is impossible to demand from the child of what he will be able to make on age. Do not wait that the kid at the age of two years will obey you as if to him years five. But, if you wait, then prepare that the child will feel to you only hostility. Besides, such actions and expectations have negative effect on its consciousness and development.
9. Do not deprive of the child of the right to be it. For a second think that you are a genius of pedagogics. You brought up the child silent, valid, quiet and obedient. He vysokomoralen, is accurate, he does not deceive and has no negative feelings. But here then think – whether and the child it? Perhaps, it is the little adult? Anyway, he is definitely not happy. He hid true "I" under a mask that you imposed on it the education the little gentleman. After all, it is the child.
10. Moraly should not read. Daily children hear hundreds of censures and remarks in the party. If to take mother, one day, her child and a dictophone, to write down and show to mother all written-down remarks, she will be surprised. Whole collection! Reproaches, threats, grumble, sneers, lectures, notations and many other things. The child "is just disconnected" under such pressure, it is its protection which he very quickly masters and applies. As a result all yours of morals come down approximately to such scenario: "You are bad because what you made – very badly therefore you are bad. Unless it is gratitude for what I for you made? You bad and you bla-bla-bla".