There is such model of the relations where there is a constant transition from love to hatred. Young people quarrel, are violently reconciled. Or the young man constantly affords insults to the beloved, and then shows tenderness and care. What the relations are? How to behave to the girl in such relations?
What means, at first offends, and then kisses
In fact are an emotional roller coaster. In such relations constantly there is a sharp transition from love to hatred and back. The constant tension and intensity of emotions feed communication between couple. From outside it seems that such relations very fragile. Actually they can last for many years. There is it because the girl gets to a peculiar dependence on the young man. He so violently expresses the love and apologizes after the quarrels.
You should not try to change the person
At the beginning of the relations both partners adapt the friend to the friend. They gradually understand how it is better for them to manage with each other. At normal development of the relations it is enough to girl to express literally several times discontent concerning any actions of the young man in relation to her that he corrected the behavior. If it does not occur, you should not try to remake character of the guy. It is not necessary to hope that the girl the love will be able to change it. If the man needs the relations, he will do everything depending on it, he will change the behavior itself to keep this love.
When the guy every time offends the girl, and then violently apologizes, promising not to act this way any more, the girl has to understand accurately that hardly something will change. It is important to make the conscious choice: whether it agrees to such relations? Whether it accepts this young man it what he is?
To leave a position of the victim
In extreme expression such model of the relations between the girl and the guy leads to domestic violence. Psychologically there is no special difference between insults and physical abuse: both – cruelty in relation to the woman. It is important to understand that the relations are built always by both partners. Both the man, and the woman make in them the contribution. It is easy to accuse of all the guy who offends the girl. Really, causticities to the weaker sex – it is ugly. But means, the girl allows to treat herself so. She gets up in a position of the victim. At first it will allow to offend itself, then easy slap in the face, and all comes to an end with a beating. To leave a position of the victim happens rather difficult. And sometimes it is also just impossible without the aid of others: close friends or psychologist, for example. The first step for this purpose – awareness of the benefits from the relations with such young man. The girl has to admit accurately to herself that she receives from such relations. If she did not stop meeting this guy after the first insult in its address, so relations are had for her value. Most likely, both become dependent on adrenaline: reconciliation after scandal and insults usually very rough. The intensity of emotions remains constantly. Whereas in the healthy relations the ardent love gradually weakens, giving way to quiet love, respect and friendship. And from such quiet love it becomes boring for young people.
To make the conscious choice
If the girl herself well understands why she remains in the relations with the young man, then she keeps control levers the life. She can make consciously the choice, but not follow blindly the man. The choice of each specific girl - whether to remain in such relations where the guy affords insults in her address. But, even having stopped meeting the guy, she needs to analyze own behavior: why she allowed to treat herself so? If the girl does not understand it, then risks to construct the new relations in which there will be same problems with the young man.