In many respects life of parents and children when school students enter awkward age, is complicated not so much by the arising changes, how many panic fear of the first. Fears connected with the future pubertal period adjust parents on the fact that they are waited by a strip of quarrels, roughness and rudeness. And actually it not always so, and is enough to cease to be afraid in advance, but just together with the child to live every day your current life.
1. Remember the basic rule of education of the teenager: he is a person too. It already came to this world the personality with a certain character and tendencies here, and you should not try to model from it someone. It already exists, and in your forces only to show it various opportunities of this world. You influence it, first of all, not words, but the example: let him through you see that he means to be kind and generous why the erudition is welcomed in society, etc. Pay attention first of all to yourself.
2. Force themselves to accept inevitability of its growing. The teenager needs a certain portion of independence which cannot already be replaced with allocation of responsibility for conducting any affairs in the house. It is required to it bigger – an exit in social space. Prepare that during this period he can look for authorities on other places. You have only one way to remain the person whom your child respects and on whom he wants to equal and this way is already described above: to set an example with own acts.
3. Trust the child. You know how and when he tells a lie, and be guided only by this knowledge. Do not try to think out new reasons for suspicions. Was late? Yes, you suffered prolonged anxiety, but unless it in young years did not happen to you? Avoid demonstration of how to you it is sick and bad, do not snatch on it with abuse. Any rough emotions will lead only to the fact that the teenager whose nervous system at this age is especially sensitively customized will begin to be protected and become reserved. Look for ways of quiet settlement of the conflict: you share with it the concern, but do not throw out it, tell about the experiences, but you do not press them.
4. Believe that it really already adult and give it the chance it to show. Then he should not resort to ways which actually show rather an immaturity of the child, than maturity. Having felt independent and adult, he will not go to smoke only in order that to prove something.
5. Do not bring up the teenager, it is the biggest mistake which you can make. Help it to learn this world, but do not try to vytrenirovat it, to layer on it behavior templates. Also you do not divide his life into a rigid framework: without being obsessed with the general statements, concentrate on individual process of formation of the personality in your family.