On writing of this article me the recent trip to Israel pushed. I paid attention to one small, but very essential difference in education of children in the Jewish families and ours. I share the conclusions.
There is such belief that Jews - very clever people. My thesis: Jews do not differ in special congenital intelligence from any other people. A difference in education. Yes. In education. They raise the children ingenious. Put in them the ingenious beginning, that is the child constantly hears since childhood according to the address to him that he is ingenious. You only think of it... How many opportunities such position gives to the child! The little person grows self-assured, the forces. He is not abused for any miss. Just do not pay attention to it or quietly explain how it was necessary to make correctly. At the same time it is constantly praised for any correct and active step.
What is done by the clever parent by such method? It motivates the child to work, experiment and develop. The little person lives with feeling that everything that he does – ingeniously! It imposes a certain responsibility on it. For example, is more useless to the ingenious child badly to study, with ingenious mind to receive the two or not to understand any rule. Time you are ingenious - you have to confirm it constantly. We are proud of you and we believe in you.
And how it is accepted to raise our children? At once I will make a reservation – not all parents so treat the children. Not all. We have also clever and suspecting several steps forward parents, knowing about force of suggestion and about importance of laying of the base in the person since childhood.
Unfortunately, sometimes we hear also it (from overheard at playgrounds, in shops and public transport):
Where do you climb?!
Who asks you?!
Would sit already!.
My eyes would not see you!
Also try to bring only the two - you will receive!
There is a parasite!
You are normal?!
Better I would not give birth to you!
All children as children - and you...!
Hands at you grew from one place!
Once again you will make - I will beat you!
Weigh in the father!
I told you - shut up!
Will you bring a belt itself?
And for what to me such punishment?!
On it, perhaps, I will stop. While wrote - most it became bad. And if on wait a minute to present itself on the place of the child which all this hears? Moreover sees at the same time the furious face of the beloved parent?... Only think what happens to mentality of the child? Whether there will be he after told know that to move forward - well? What is the world friendly? What will any its initiative be supported and at it everything will turn out? Or will go to drink beer with associates because there is in the head a belief in the otioseness and not luck?.
We forget, we delete all similar demotivators from the lexicon. Instead we sow in ourselves a habit to praise and support the child.
I will give phrases which make our children strong, courageous, positive, active, thinking, careful below - ingenious:
Dad, look what our child well done!
You will surely pass examination (you will write control)!
You are such clever
At you everything will turn out!
Try still - you will surely cope!
You will surely win (will win)!
What is good that you at me are!
And how you think, the son?
As it is healthy when you help!
Tell me about the plans.
We with dad (mom) very much love you!
You do unique things (you draw, you write, you design)!
You are our pride!
I do not know how at you, and at me such words raise a warm smile upon the face, desire to do and... happiness. Inspire, dear parents, to the children desire to live and love! And your children will grow up ingenious!
If you in comments continue the list of the motivating phrases, then will greatly help parents who for a start, for a training, very need good examples.