Successfully to conduct negotiations with own fumes, it is important to build a conversation correctly. You do not shout, be not nervous, designate and explain the point of view. And, above all - respect opinion of the child.
Instruction
1. To agree with the child, it is necessary to consider his age. Do not demand from the four-year-old kid of understanding of why he is not right. At such age it is enough to teach of it it is simple to distinguish bad and good. But the teenager needs to explain by all means why he has to agree with you that it will give it. Tell about consequences of the incorrect decision, remember moral standards.
2. It is necessary to conduct negotiations with the child quietly. If you feel that the irritation and anger overcome you, for a while stop a conversation and calm down. The quiet tone sounds more convincingly and more surely, and shouts can become for the child an indicator that the parent shortly will not sustain an impact and will give up. To overcome the anger, think of something another, deeply sigh several times or count up to 20.
3. Do not try to argue, build a conversation on discussion, grant option. For example, if time to go to bed came, then do not report about it in mandative and gross form. Ask when the child is going to go to a bed that for this purpose is necessary for him. If you want the teenager to bring order to the room, then provide it at choice several options. Ask it that it will do: to vacuum, dust or wash the floors.
4. Surely explain the point of view. For example, if you want something to achieve from the child, explain why you need it. If explanations did not work, try to tell about the emotions, experiences and feelings. But you do not press on pity - in this case the child can regret you, but you will sink authority in his estimation.
5. Learn to react to indignation, disagreement, criticism and roughnesses correctly. You should not answer the same precisely. If the child criticizes you, learn, than he is dissatisfied. Stop roughnesses, but it is sure and quiet. In case of disagreement it is necessary to find out the reason of such position.
6. Negotiations with the child optional have to be completed with the parent's victory. If the teenager is able to overpersuade you or will point to good reasons of the act or behavior, agree with him. But that an impression of your defeat was not made, explain that you reconsidered the relation to a situation, but not just made concessions. If you managed to overpersuade the child, do not focus attention on it and do not regard it as own victory. Negotiations are a compromise.
7. If to agree it did not turn out, simply tell the child that he anyway has to arrive as it is necessary. Tell that you made the decision, and it is not discussed. It is necessary to teach children to respect opinion of parents and to listen to it.