Sometimes happens to children very difficult. They ache much, play about, cry and, apparently, frankly scoff at us. It is twice more difficult if you are at this time in the public place where besides the going into hysterics child numerous views and comments of people around fall upon you.
Any whim of the child is an unsatisfied requirement. The same unsatisfied and same requirements which are inherent also in us the adult. And the difference between adults and children is only that small children do not know yet what to do with this frustrated (unsatisfied) requirement.
- They are not able to realize it yet
- They are not able to tell about it
- They cannot ask about the help
- They are not able and do not even know still that the emotions and desires can be constrained and hidden
For this purpose they also have parents who have to help them with it. To find out what occurs, and as much as possible to reduce discomfort. It is also a leading role of the parent and in general the adult. And at all not in punishing and "bringing up".
Let's understand on examples.
- Always such quiet and obedient two-year-old Vanechka some fiend is simple today. He shouts, aches, is kicked. And the reason in the puncher of the neighbor. Vanechka slept this afternoon, but is restless and disturbing, he could not have a rest fully. Mom did not consider it, and people in a visibility range also are not obliged to know it. But are obliged to understand at the same time that the boy behaves so ugly not because he is a bad boy but because to it for some reason it is uncomfortable now.
- Five-year-old Masha often offends the younger sister, and itself constantly cries, aches, is capricious. Sil any is missing. What was only not done by parents: both abused, and talked, and punished – nothing helps. And Masha just does not feel love of parents after the sister's birth. All their attention is given younger, with it are lisped, with it nezhnichat. And Masha already adult, already has to cope with much.
- In his seven years the parents just fill up Oleg with gifts, the benefit the income of family allows. But every time in shop at Oleg of the hysteric: he aches, then shouts, swears, elicits all new and new toys. Why? If to dig more deeply, then we learn that parents buy to Oleg only what they find necessary. They never ask and that Oleg wants? He always wants absolutely not that it is "correct" and beautiful.
- Even notorious pamperedness (it happens less than adults think, but nevertheless meets) is need of the child for borders. Yes, be not surprised, the child has a need for borders. With its help he learns to perceive adequately this world and to find the place in it.
Thus, we see that behind any whim of the child there is some unsatisfied requirement. It is only necessary to be attentive to the children, to make out it, to find out and to eliminate whenever possible. And then everything it will be good: to both children, and parents.