Mother married again as it is correct to improve the child's relations with the stepfather. A practical advice will help.
Instruction
1. First of all mom has to explain to the teenager that with the advent of the new family member, position of the child will not change. She will still love it, to care, show attention.
2. It is necessary to build the relations between the stepfather and the teenager still before the man and the woman begin joint life. The man needs to be more often on a visit, friendly, but unostentatiously to communicate with the teenager. The child has to get used to the regular customer and perceive his presence absolutely normally.
3. It is possible to spend sometimes time three together. Suggest the child to choose the place where he would like to go, active holiday, driving by bicycles, bowling, skating, a paintball and other active family entertainments which will allow all to have fun will approach. It is a good opportunity to avoid an awkward talk and long pauses in communication, the main thing that you will just have a good time together.
4. It is not necessary to be afraid to leave the man and the teenager together some. Let for a short time, but it will help them to get used quicker to each other and to improve the relations.
5. It is not necessary to force the teenager to call the stepfather the father. It can cause negative emotions. It is enough to call the new family member by name. Perhaps, the small child also needs the father, and the teenager will suit the new close friend more.
6. Never compare at the child of the new husband and the former spouse. It is unpleasant to teenager to listen to not forest comments on his real father. These can cause negative reaction in relation to the new stepfather. And open rebellious behavior, unwillingness to obey requests and councils of the stepfather.
7. If between the teenager and the stepfather there is a quarrel, the woman needs to take a neutral position and to allow to understand all. It can try to measure them, having considered both points of view and having pointed both to the correct and wrong arguments.
8. The best way, for gaining trust and arrangement of the teenager, it when the stepfather takes sincere care and love for mother. It has to show to the teenager what wants to make mom happy, to protect the woman and to be in everything a support.
9. You should not try to buy arrangement of the teenager gifts and indulgences. Over time the child will perceive the stepfather, only as a source of material benefits.